My emotions are starting
to collapse
into my flesh
They’re seeping through
my veins
Physically
Feeding into my heart

We’ve created bonds
so pure
so precious
very deep
Bonds that now
are like invisible strings
of auroras
tangled through
the space and time
across countries
and continents

I want to pull onto
those strings
I want to pull them
closer
But they’re just light
and air

I can only pull
with my heart
which has already
collapsed
into its own depths
and onto itself

Veins start to shift
with arteries
I just don’t know anymore
what is it that
I am being given
by the world
And what is it
that I am giving out
I just cannot tell
what exactly is
flowing into my heart
and what it is
I’m trying to
exhale out

My body starts to lag
My cheeks viciously
feed on my tears
They don’t get the chance
to fall out
of my eyes
And just as they do
my tears dry
into my skin

And again ..

I can’t tell anymore
I feel
no more
Or perhaps my tears
have lost their way
They no longer know
what and whom
to cry for

Do you feel
what I’m trying to say?

You tell me
feelings transcend
across countries and continents
across oceans
Yet
your words cease
across my mirage-like cheeks
where my tears go
to dry

And then I remember
again
those bonds of hearts
like mine
like yours
like theirs
I remember the closeness
of our intertwining souls

All of you come
to memory
And your breaths
become my lullabies
to bed
as I try to remember
your inhales and exhales
your pulse
as I hugged
each and every
one of you

Then you put me
to sleep
for the night

Does it sting you?
The way I look at you
Because baby, you’re like alcohol
to my bleeding cuts
whenever you look at me

Do my kisses revive your being?
Because baby,
your kisses only **** me
as I inhale the traces
of nicotine in your breath

Do our songs make you yearn
for my fingertips
caressing your hands
as we drive into the night?
Because baby,
my internals screech
for your touch
Baby, I hate our songs

Do you feel yourself suffocating
every night?
As I step out
when you drop me off
Because baby,
I feel myself falling
out of your skyscrapers
and into the cold abyss
of black skies

Does the word goodbye
asphyxiate your lungs
as you enunciate it?
Because baby,
my lungs collapse
as my ribcage closes in
to hug them when
your hugs are no longer there
to contain me

Yes
I exaggerate
in the ways that I miss you

Yes
It hurts me
the way I love you

So let us say our goodbyes already

Baby please
just go

I fall on my knees...*
my fingertips kiss the ground.
I incline my head...
my eyes close slowly.
I gasp for air in between shallow breaths...
my lips quivering.
A torrent of tears gush out
and drench every ounce of my soul...
whilst every fibre of my being...
and every beat of my heart
pray...

*a prayer for hope.

.
crescent in the sky be my hammock

I watch with shut eyes
the twinkle trail of fairy lights

let my past be laid and lined in chalk

to usher the magic of following nights

.

If I was compelling
I would know.
A counterfeit is spotted
by symbols
that fail to show;
signs of value
either there or not.
My throat is full
my eyes are hot.
If I was compelling
it would be telling.