Do I feel like a disappointment?
Every ******* day!
Waking up in the morning
Making determined promises.
One video becomes two
And two become fifty.
Before I know it the day breaks
And so do my promises.

I’m loving him with half a heart, this other half it’s lost.
In dreams I swim in while I sleep, when I wake it’s still gone.
When I close my eyes I’m searching for you, running through my past.
Breaking through strands of time just to hold you at last.
Floating down a river on my side you stood there in a suit, next to you a woman dressed in white and a baby between you two.
I called out to you and smiled and told you you’d have a boy of your own, I saw the joy on your face as I floated past down sorrows stream.

I guess this is the aftermath of sin and shame that I had once heard of. Never knowing that it was so real, I’m living in my pain.

Loving with half a heart while the other half is numb, is like playing a beautiful melody to the deaf, it’s as if it doesn’t exist.

I wake and remember where I am and with whom I share I my bed.
Looking at him while he sleeps, I remember you and your breath.
Calling his name, I’ve almost called yours more times than I can count, it’s like I’m stuck in times past and trying to break out of a glass clock.

That other half of my heart that’s lost within my sleep, please let me know when I can have it back and when I close my eyes there we’ll meet and again I’ll hold you as if it is the last.

Red beads wrapped around my lady legs

Red potato skins still crawling through Southern dregs

Red lipstick, too expensive for sad my two lips live

Red lights, stop signs. Oh how much I would give

To see you smile

And stay a while

Let's pretend we don't exist

Red burns from falling down

In those sweet eyes, I feel no lies

Take me, embrace me

Red, red, red