Michael Duong: Favorites

have you ever broken something and tried to put it back together?

you usually can't find every single piece

but you glue the bigger pieces together

it's not perfect but it doesn't look half bad

most people won't notice it's broken unless they look hard enough

and that's kind of how it was after you left

I was like a broken vase that you dropped on purpose

it may have taken 6 months for me to put most of the pieces back together

and I'm still missing some

but only a couple people had to look hard enough to notice such sadness in my eyes

and everytime I see the half broken vase in my hallway I smile

because even though it's missing some pieces it still stands

it may not be perfect but it's fixable

And it gives me hope that maybe one day I'll be okay

without you,
the missing piece

I wrote this a while ago.

Jul 2014 Michael Duong

July 20, 2014

Jul 2014 Michael Duong

Joshua Haines

July 20, 2014

Dear Talia,

I don't want to be a tortured artist.
I don't want to be depressed and I don't want to be anxious.
Competitive sadness and disorders treated like accessories disgust me.

The world glamorizes mental illness, and I don't understand why. There is nothing romantic about being mentally ill just like how there's nothing glamorous about a broken wrist or a torn medial collateral ligament. There's nothing romantic about constantly being afraid that the world will fold in itself and **** you with it. There's nothing romantic about feeling like you could break down and cry at any moment.

This is the first piece I've written while being medicated.

I want it to be Christmas already.

The world dreams itself a halo, but can only attain horns. The halo is an illusion and the horns are an idea.

I'm due to take another Lorazepam. Would I look cool to the kids who idolize dysfunction and misinterpret pain as style, if I were to take one of these, with water and a distant glance, in front of them? Geez, to have their approval would to have everything and nothing at all.

I'm not sure why I've written as much about this as I have.

You.

It is 2:48 am and all I can think about, in this moment, is you.

I can't wait to spend Christmas with you. I can't wait to wear bad Christmas sweaters, and be the couple everyone hates, as we sing Christmas carols and spread holiday cheer.

I wrote this poem a few minutes ago. Sometime around 2:30 am. I'm not sure. I'm exhausted:

I sat on the edge of my bed, and on the edge of my life,
medicated to the point of pointlessness. Soft.
It was the nineteenth, not the twentieth,
and I wished I saw the fireworks with her fifteen days earlier.

My gasps tore the shingles off of the house.
And they hung suspended above the hole in the roof.
And God stared down into my room, as the shingles swirled skyward.
"I see you," I said, "but I don't believe in you."

I left home and ran until I was a dream that had passed itself.

I hope that was okay.

I love you.

Yours,

Joshua Haines

Jul 2014 Michael Duong

beach day

Jul 2014 Michael Duong

Kay

beach day

your eyes are as blue as the ocean
and my hair is as blonde as the sun

together we both make the perfect beach day

but sometimes
you become dark

and that's when it storms

you become the dull grey sky

I try to light you up but it only makes things worse
and I guess that makes me the lightening

It may be dark and stormy

but what's a storm without lightening?

and what would the ocean be like if there was no sun?

what would I be like if i didn't have you?

I have a strong feeling I'm about to find out soon

maybe they were right
and maybe sometimes there's no calm before the storm

sometimes the storm just randomly hits,
hard

and maybe one day,
It won't clear up

#sad #sun #thinking #day #you #overthinking #ocean #upset #beach #lightening

Jul 2014 Michael Duong

3 AM thoughts

Jul 2014 Michael Duong

Kay

3 AM thoughts

well ****

I finally stopped crying

I may have spent a lot my time stumbling to stand and drunk texting all his friends
but I was happier than I've ever been

you came into my life for barely 2 months
and now I'm back into the same sadness it took me almost 6 months to get out of

I'm tired of feeling angry
shouting stupid words i don't mean

you can't calm me down
not this time

i changed for you
but you changed me for the worst

I feel empty
the only thing I feel are the tears rushing down my cheeks
and the ache in my throat after shouting
sometimes I even feel the blood rushing down my hand after picking up the glass

I fell in love,
again

I must admit
I didn't think it was possible

but once I met you I know it would be inevitable to fall in love with you

I am once again drowning in sadness and regret
I am drowning in my own tears

I can't take it

I got through a heart break once
I can do it again, right?

you love me?
then please, let me go

#love #heartbreak #sad #regret #depressed #relationship #him #angry #remorse

Jul 2014 Michael Duong

Guilty

Jul 2014 Michael Duong

Pushing Daisies

Guilty

I sit and watch her bottom lip tremble,
And know that it's my fault.

The pieces that she can't assemble,
Are locked within the vault.

I sit and watch her eyes cloud over,
And have to look away,

She stills calls me her sunshine,
But I blind her with the rain.

She still calls me her sunshine,
Dispite the weathers change.

Jul 2014 Michael Duong

Diamonds

Jul 2014 Michael Duong

becca marie

Diamonds

I remember calling him a diamond when he was upset about the girl who gave up on him too soon
And him smiling as he asked how
I said
"You have to dig to find diamonds, and people get lazy. They give up. I think people do that with you, but they're always gone before they can really see you shine."
Little did he know
He was my diamond
And I wouldn't stop digging until he was mine

Get it because people mine for gold and stuff ha. Oh I rhymed too

#love #diamonds