I'm falling. So I catch myself
Before I fall into another series of what ifs.
Like
What if I steal a glance
Or worse, what if he returns it
Either way it's a loss because if he is not looking, I'll wonder why he isn't and if I'm not good enough.
When I catch him looking , it plays with my mind because I don't know why he is. Leaving a burning desire to know exactly what goes on in his mind.

I'm falling, but I catch myself, because odds are, I will never speak and neither will he.
I'm falling but I catch myself ,because I'm just a girl and he is just a boy , we are just a boy and girl afraid to love each other. So they settle for stolen glances.
I'm falling , but I catch myself , because I bruise easily.

Can’t fall asleep
Awake exhausted with only a few hours of sleep
Mind clouded with thoughts of death
Go down stairs mom gets upset you should have left by now
Put on my makeup , maybe it can  hide my insecurities
Swallow the pill that suppresses my personality
Go to school to feel humiliated
Feel the glares as they stare
Late again ? don’t you have any friends? So try to pretend  
I don’t eat yet I still taste defeat
I have a billion thoughts but can’t find the words to speak
No one can help me if I’m trapped in my own thoughts

Here’s my perspective;

Thoughts, in general, are like the light from the stars that always shine the same brightness throughout the day.

They are always there

Existing, even when you can’t see them.
At least that’s how it is for normal people, you get the grace of day to nullify the shining of the light from the stars at times when it can be overbearing.

You get a break

If I could describe what it’s like to have ADHD, picture your mind never turning off.
It is always bright for me, and there is no dawn or day to alleviate my eyes from the galaxy of lights I permanently see.

*It's a beautiful disaster

I sketch out lifeless figures on notebook paper
As if they will receive some sort of praise or justification

I am unaware of the people around me
The suffering they all face

I sit
Heavily caught up in the waves of my own self absorbant prophecy

Why am I so aloof?
Who is there to stop me?

Myself?
I will remain untouched

By the pounding fist of progress
I will lay

A lifeless figure
Gently sketched out on notebook paper