Its hard
To think of myself as beautiful
When all i can see
Are the flaws that surround my body
Its hard
To think of myself as affectionate
When all i can see
Is the emptiness holding me down
Its hard
To think of myself as happy
When all i can see
Is the sadness inside of me

I lie awake in the waves of the wake you left me in
My lungs fill with water until my chest bursts open
My body is a lake again
I know I make mistakes but I can't fake like I can displace your skin
I sink deep with every crash
Let me in
Let me in
Let me in
Let me

I'm afraid
terrified really

That I'm not good enough for you
That I'm not what you're looking for
That I'm not what you want in a girl

What if you find someone new that is what you're looking for?

And what if you already found her?
Yet you let her slip away
You talk about her like she was all you could ever hope for
Why didn't you take that chance and grab her while you could?

Now you're stuck with me
And I don't think I could be any of the things she is

What if she comes back?
Then what do I become?
I become the cookie dough you eat while you wait for the cookies to finish baking
I may be nice in the moment
But overall I'm a bad idea
And just a way to pass time

And that's why
I'm afraid
terrified really

a.a.