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  Jul 2020 Mel
JustChloe
I want to make you feel better

but i cant

so i want to hurt myself

but that would hurt you

so i realize i cant make it better

and I want to help you

but i cant

so i want to hurt myself

but that would hurt you

I want to make you feel better

but i cant

so i want to hurt myself

but that would hurt you

but i cant

so i want to hurt myself

but that would hurt you

so i realize i cant make it better

and I want to help you

but i cant

so i want to hurt myself

but that would hurt you

I want to make you feel better

but i cant

so i want to hurt myself

but that would hurt you

but i cant

so i want to hurt myself

but that would hurt you

so i realize i cant make it better

and I want to help you

but i cant

so i want to hurt myself

but that would hurt you

I want to make you feel better

but i cant

so i want to hurt myself

but that would hurt you

but i cant

so i want to hurt myself

but that would hurt you

so i realize i cant make it better

and I want to help you

but i cant

so i want to hurt myself

but that would hurt you

I want to make you feel better

but i cant

so i want to hurt myself

but that would hurt you
  Jun 2018 Mel
Tatiana
There are clouds in the sky,
they mass together,
just a thick swath of gray,
that blocks the sun.

I'm walking home,
all by myself,
I've been doing that a lot now,
but it's okay.

I feel the wind pick up,
the dead leaves are swirling
all around me,
like some strange tornado.

A tornado of leaves,
how interesting.
If only the wind would pick me up
and carry me off.

Throughout my windy thoughts,
one raindrop fell,
slowly from my eye
down to my chin.

I felt it fall off my chin.
The wind left a cold chill
on the wet path on my cheek;
it stung.

Then the clouds finally broke down on me.
The rain poured, but I didn't rush to leave.
I walked at the same pace
with my face lifted to the sky.

I don't mind
I don't mind
I don't mind
© Tatiana
Here's a drafted poem from 2014. 4 years ago. Good Lord.
  Jun 2018 Mel
Tatiana
Listen to the words I don't create with my mouth
they speak to the truth that I hide deep inside.
I talk about setting things right,
but I'd rather lash out in spite.
For someone who craves stability,
I'm too much like the ocean.
Pushing and pulling my self apart.
Daughter of the moon and water
with time I've grown fonder,
of the waves that used to scare my heart.

I used to find comfort with both feet on the ground,
but it seems that people always dig holes underneath me.
So I have the illusion of solid earth,
but I take one step and then the earth quakes.
At least in the water, I expect the lack of stability,
so if I struggle with swimming,
I can sink down into the sea.
The pressure of the water weighs down on me.
I can see the light at the surface
it's so **** pretty.
© Tatiana
  May 2018 Mel
Tatiana
The townspeople gather 'round
this filthy street with nothing on their feet.
Silent nature of this procession
keeps a leash on the tongue of this confession.
Ravens and crows lead the way
to the gates of the final resting place.
And their stares linger close behind
they'll say that this is the curse of mankind.
© Tatiana
  May 2018 Mel
Veronica Emilia
i have anxiety
undiagnosed.

sometimes it feels like my head is stuffed with crumpled ***** of paper: the things I never said, the things I should have never said, the things that someone never said to me.

all of these things are written on every piece of paper
there are so many right now that no more would be able to fit
yet i can't stop thinking things, i can't stop saying stupid things, i can't stop wishing things.

i sigh I reach up to my forehead and i grasp my bangs
with my shaky hands and pull

i'm hoping one day when i do this
the top of my head will yank open
all of these crumpled pieces of thoughts
will pour out in a pile
on the floor
i will kneel down
and uncrumple each and every piece
i will read each one
until my head fills up again.
  Apr 2018 Mel
Tatiana
Don't look to the moon
because it'll be gone soon.

I can be the one
to make you disappear
without anyone finding out.
Sink down in my oceans
and drown,
no one has to know
that you escaped death.
So join me in my goal
of subterfuge,
because tonight I am the moon
if it decided to hide you.
I love writing about the sun and the moon. The universe lends itself to poetry.
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