I want to know the course that the rivers beneath your skin take

I want to know the valleys in your heart and how deep they go

I want to know the canyons in your bones and who put them there

I want to know who's initials are carved into your mind

and the memories that they can no longer call "mine"

Eyes of glass and body of stone
Your arms have become my home.

But I've never blushed easily
And your touch engines the blood beneath my cheeks so relentlessly.

I throw up until my head feels like it's not there but I can still taste your **** mouth.

It's not like you wake up one day

     and you suddenly hate every inch.

It happens gradually
    
     an inch at a time.

I remember where mine started

    and how it grew like wild fire.

Until it consumed me
  
     an inch at a time.

And the ones that build you to be a skyscraper are the ones who shake you into rubble.

And I thought I was getting better

      but then I woke up on the tile

the water had lost its heat and the burn had moved to my throat

My body that use to shake with laughter
            now shakes with fear.

I didn't use to double check to see if the doors were locked up tight at night.

But now I'm terrified that you'll come knocking when the alcohol kicks in.

No more are the sweet phone calls filled with slurred "I love you"s at 2am.

Angry words have become their replacement.

I never thought you could hurt me, but I couldn't have ever imagined that you could have cheated on me.

You were always so scary when you were mad. So quick to hit anything close.

I don't know what you're capable of anymore.

If life is a dream, then you are my nightmare.
And I can't. Wake. Up.