Well I'm away now
It's not the same as it once was
It might look like it to you
But the past won't be my last

I'm ready for the next big thing
But it has to be my idea
You may never know it
I can say no and make it so

Some things just won't go away
One day you just accept it
It's part of your life and you live it
Or you ignore what happened before

No past no future how long do I have
If someone would just tell me
I wonder how I would live in the now
Would I be leaving, would I be grieving?

I want to be about hope
Not so much for my own worth
But just more time and temperance
And for you, you know it's true

One day I will let myself go
That is the void I haven't crossed
It is my mind without fear
To lose as long as I choose

I made my choices
They are what they were
Good and bad
I know I meant well
I know I made someone sad

I'm not a mystery
If you want to know
Just ask
I am not ashamed
Not of my past

Why would I want to hide?
Maybe it's because I'm tired
I've said so many things
I've thought even more
I'm bored of the song I sing

Maybe I'm just getting started
It took a life to begin again
I know so much
Is it all holding me back?
I need a lighter touch

Staying close to the night
Time was upside down
My eyes open when it's time
Fatigue once told me
I'm the sentence for your crime

Is the world ready for love
I know my children are
Will it hurt or make them mad?
I wish I knew their path
I'm like any other Dad

I'm a light in a cave
It goes deep
But it's not dangerous
The walls are marked
You don't have to be courageous

I can see myself clearly
It's you who is the mystery
Quiet and calm
What are you on the inside?
What does it say on your palm?

I already said I love you
I'll say it a thousand more times
Will it all wear you down
Will you want to hear another voice
So in mine you won't drown?

How soon will I know
Will the book be long enough
To be worth the last page?
I wonder if that is how you think
Or is it day by day as we age?

I can live with who you are
I won't judge the path you were on
How could I when
I was the one
Standing alone at the end?

There is no will power to summon
It's easy to love what is good
There is no temptation anymore
I know what I have now
It's not like anything before

I don’t have any style
I might have a religion
There’s nothing in my threads
Maybe just my opinion

There’s a place to start
It’s not knowing anything
The older I get, you know
It’s back to the beginning

It’s a feeling inside
I know it well
It’s the same as yours
The one that knows
But will never tell

Why am I here anyway
Was it just for my folks?
What did they get from me
Some love and a few jokes?

You know I’ve grown
But not in how I dress
I’m trying to be calmer
I learned from duress

It’s a feeling inside
I know it well
It’s the same as yours
The one that knows
But will never tell

I have a mental flashlight
And a heart-shaped microscope
I’m not confused for long
Or fall in love without hope

I can’t say it enough
Eventually I’ll decide
I might stare for a while
But then, the feeling inside

It’s a feeling inside
I know it well
It’s the same as yours
The one that knows
But can never tell

There’s no reason
Is meaning important
My emotions say yes
They’re my informant

To know myself
Then always to act
If the truth always hurts
Will you ever come back?

It’s a feeling inside
I know it well
It’s the same as yours
The one that knows
But can never tell

What is the motivating driving force?
Will you see it through in some way?
It's not a hit, nobody knows it
Can you make yourself anyway?

What new ideas do you have?
Don't say you're too tired
How much time are you awake
Yet you say you're retired

But from what, is comfort all there is
Empty your pockets, remove your ego
Forget success, it ****** the life out of you
Radicalization is where creativity goes

A projected furnace, burning the wall
Floating away, learning to drift
Contact with leaves, the wind parts
What makes no sense is the seismic shift

Holy hands, touching the air
Was it ever in your nature
If only you could find it, discover it
But money was the wrong teacher

There's plenty for me to cry about
So many hearts in heaven touching mine
At least it was real and it's still the same
But your eyes, where I now see the truth
It's where I finally understood time

Passing quickly and taking it's toll
On the way we live and the way we love
Too much for granted, too many mistakes
But what I could never understand
At least I do now and what it's made of

It's not a long night without missing someone
But heaven is always bathed in the light
It passes quickly for spirits that finally know right
While we learn the hard way after it's done

You help me live, you help me give
Even though I don't always know it
The way I look at you, a reflection
Of the things I wanted to see
I need you more than I like to admit

It's not a long day without missing someone
But what ends begins again in the night
Feelings that once fell short become so right
When everything becomes what was once none

i want to love
but not just you
i want to love freedom
and taste of its fruit

but for those who cannot
by either the law
or by another man's hand
love is all they have

yet it must share its place
with hate and bitterness
and what is love
that cannot live freely
in the heart, unbound
on the land, unchanged?

it is not love at all
it is something else
that cannot wait
for tomorrow
or for heaven

for if today is life
and freedom is not
then it is no life at all

it is only death

I won’t ask personal questions
I can’t really prove myself to anyone
It could take a year or a day
I won’t give you suggestions
Unless you ask me to
Maybe it’s just better to pray

The past is the past
you can tell me things if you want
but somebody like me,
new to your life
may not be able to confront
the lines they drew,
on your heart, on your face
the one’s you carry, good and bad

When memories can’t hurt anyone but us
When we don’t know how much time we have
We won’t have to say their names out loud
Because the echoes of their voices remain
What is the point of it airing it all anyway
When what we know now is we’re both proud

You had to love somebody
Out of all the hearts in the world
When it was my turn
You’d given so much it hurts sometimes
It’s not a tree for me to chop down
It’s only a wish, what took us so long?

I walked away from things in my hand
It’s in my head now, it’s nothing I planned
You have to live in a way to survive
I’m not staying behind, nothing needed to arrive

Every good memory I have, it’s about you now
So easy to substitute, I know what you’re about
I don’t want to steal yours from you
But what I have to give is only what is true

The paper that pressed roses is long gone
The rain that once said wait another day
Became the sunlight I live in today
It’s my world now, everywhere I belong

I once had bloodshot eyes
Now they’re in the back of my head
The legend that was, the failure that is
I'm building a new life instead

The moments in time we give away
We make more of it because we know it
They’re gone and it has to mean something
Pretending there's no crime I did commit

I’m not recreating, I’m not planting
The flowers I pick now are my own
That’s how I know what I’m thinking
For you, that's how I reveal the unknown

What is a real man
Crying in the ocean so there is no record of it?
Being brave
Attacking the world because his own has ended?
Searing eyes
Burning a hole into you knowing what he wants?
What is a real man
Loving a woman so she will know the difference?
Being gentle
Caressing a sage bush because God is watching?
Acting mysterious
Like a light that can make shadows in the night?
What is a real man
Waiting years and years without compromise?
A dreamer
But living life between open and closed eyes?
A truth seeker
Knowing what he sees is not what you see?
What is a real man
Uplifting joy within his heart so you may know?
Anger and fear
To lash out or run away in equal measures?
Love and peace
Knowing the impossible lives inside his heart?

i’m not worried about the sun shining anymore
there’s no prison in my heart
the walls have all burned down

there’s no need for untold stories from before
i’ve survived them all at once
the light became their sound

the sunset survives living on the other side
i learned how to believe in it’s trip
there isn’t any theory about electricity
i came to know the ways of the ship

i brought it indoors underneath my throat
that way it can breathe in peace
without a sword above it's crown

the way you live is safe now inside my boat
the darkening of your skin
my warmth all around

the love we have survives inside the truth
telling each other about our trip
what we can see will never fade from view
not if you believe the sun is my ship

I know you're in our place
Maybe thinking of my name
And what it means now
Let me tell you it's no game

We can laugh in bed
Talk serious at the ranch
Let our hearts bleed like freedom
Carve our names on a branch

I know what I want
It's you on the inside
What you think
How it feels
I'm coming home
With arms open wide

I know how to love you now
You showed me as you loved me
A woman teaches a man how
Now your eyes at night are all I see

I know what I want
I know what I want
Love from the inside
Love from the inside

Your beautiful face is just the start
Just the start

I don’t want a domestic engineer
I don’t need to live off your career
Only the things I know and feel
But cannot say unless you are here

I don’t need more than two candles
And shadows on painted toed sandals
Only the things that a smile can feel
And never spoiled by doubting vandals

Every girl has a man waiting somewhere
That’s how she keeps her interest to herself
I’m gonna’ have to change her point of view
Instead of me she takes pictures of herself

I don’t want to just pass the time
I don’t want how are you I’m fine
Walk past me looking too busy
How can I unclutter your mind?

Every girl has a man waiting somewhere
That’s how she keeps her interest to herself
I’m gonna’ have to change her point of view
If she’ll just look up she’ll see something else

I'm not crazy enough
To believe the world can be one
But I know a home and food
Is the way peace will come

It's not the race we should fear
It's the man who cannot feed his son
When it becomes nothing but blame
Anger lives where there once was none

How many times
How many times
Did someone give you a hand
Why is it so easy
To forget who lost their land?

How far the living have come
Though the dead cannot speak
What is the world of heaven about
Is it the only thing the poor can eat?

He doesn't want you to hate him
He was happy just the other day
Someone gave him a smile
It reminded him love is not far away

How many times
How many times
Did someone give you love
Why is it so easy
To forget what peace is made of

How clever must I be
First I must untwine
The heart from the mind
Then I will speak plainly
And not in rhyme
You won’t know what
There won’t be a sign
It will only be a feeling
You’ll be happy this time

I don’t need toys anymore
Not if they cost money
That’s not important to me
Not like it was before
I can only see what is free
The way I think of you
Easing the pain you see
If I could make you notice
The sand cannot be the sea

She tried to ignore me
But maybe not
That’s what desire thought
I imagine what I can’t see
It’s not what can be bought
Not what had cause to weep
What life finally taught
Was how alone fear can be
If my heart says it cannot

It’s more than I could see
I had to trust you were really there
I tried to find something for you
Something to help you find me too

You are hanging onto the wind
Spending time looking at a birds wing
Wondering how it could be so easy
When life for you never was

You lie in bed wondering when
The young girl that had her choices
Would at least be noticed again
I'm telling you I did

Getting older is like musical chairs
Running around for one last love
There’s no time to make them wait
But if I must then my life is for you

I can’t change your past
I can’t, I just can’t my love
But I can tell you it's not you

You lie in bed wondering when
The young girl who grew up
Will find her last true friend
I'm telling you I am

It was thirty six years ago today
Sergeant Pepper has nothing more to say
He never did go out of style
But a bullet erased his smile

They blew his mind out on the streets
He didn’t notice that the times had changed
A crowd of people turned and stared
They wondered who they should blame

He laid his heart in the fields
His mind protected from hate
Strawberries will forever grieve
Over the violence of his fate

We played his mind games
While he gave peace a chance
Why didn’t we know it was real?
His feelings not a song and dance

Will we ever come together?
Dreams are like diamonds in the sky
He asked that we join him
Though love and peace had to die

Another man of peace they had to ****
We cried even though it was God's will
I'd love to turn you on to him again
Come together, find a new friend

Number... number nine... number nine
We're talking evolution not revolution
Number nine... number nine... number nine
Never forget to imagine the solution

So what are we doing, falling in love?
I feel the chains of my life fading away
I never knew another heart’s calling
Could ever draw me near this way

I only told you one time how I felt
There’s no expectation, no game to play
I wanted you to know, there was love
Walking around your life, ready to say

I’m not worried about telling you these things
It’s not easy hearing such a surprise today
You never thought it, life had already chosen
I didn’t expect you to follow as I walked away

Your dream paradise can wake up now
Between the time you laugh and pray
The spirit that we hold with both hands
Is more than just a glimpse of love today

You asked me what I think
I told you with my hand over my heart
It was only to show
Right or wrong, my opinion is all my own
I will live with it, but I want to hear yours

There is no reason to stop trying
Convince me, I want to know more about it
It’s what I want to know
That what is true, the opinion that you own
Is because of the life you live and endure

We hear so many voices
They just want to be heard, and we do
I’ve messed up everywhere I go
As soon as I know, then I realize I don’t
The things I feel sometimes make me unsure

I don’t know how far I can see
The horizon changes but never life’s misery
I don’t want to fight about it though
You tell me everything that you will or won’t
I still hope we can live behind the same door

I know it should be so simple
Boy loves girl till death do us part
But sometimes the way the winds blow
I can no longer find my own heart

There are so many words to say
I need to make them heard by you
Can you hear my whisper ringing loud
Inside your life that I will make new

We are not the dying kind of love
But being apart is a crying kind of love
You don’t have to think about it
You don’t have to talk about it
I know it’s what you’re made of

I want to travel a road to anywhere
If we get there we’ll have to plan again
I’d rather a peaceful song of togetherness
Not searching but being with my friend

The balcony sun is worth the moment
But who’s worth the time remaining
It’s someone who has known what’s passed
And forgives the times my mind is raining

We are not the dying kind of love
But being apart is a crying kind of love
You don’t have to think about it
You don’t have to talk about it
I know what you’re made of

It’s alright my darling
If they don’t get me
You are more than that
What matters is you do

The way you welcome me
Everything I say is right
I only have to breathe
Your heart holds it in

I know you are waiting
Always believing in me
My mistakes don’t matter
You understand how life is

You make it so easy to love
The fear I once knew is gone
How can I not take the chance
When your smile only says yes

I’m ready to say I love you
But you already know it’s true
I’m not the first to look at you
With eyes soaking to the bone

I already know it’s worth it
The pain of losing someone
Is how my tears choose to live
Your memory is the way to die

You've made bad mistakes
So have I
The only ones that matter
Are the ones that kept me from you
I'm not feeling like a bad person
It's only a lost feeling
How can it be so clear
And be so far instead of near
Maybe I wasn't ready for you
You were rising like hot summer air
And I was falling through every bump
The turbulence was not what I asked for
That's how we fly our planes
Gliding, thrusting into the air
And you were all I wanted there
I must have passed you on the way to nowhere

The lights in the distance
Rivers without end
I only seem to cross alone
You never return the favor

Home again, it's easy to see
Waiting for me, nature I possess
But is it my own or something else
I can't decide which way to turn

Save it all, every moment
I want you to share it with me
Even if you can't describe it
I will see it in your eyes

It doesn't matter, night or day
Asleep or awake, you follow
Or dragged by fantasy's light
Between us there's so much more

Will we be remembered for saving the world
Or only how we went about it
For no man can truly save the world
But you will remember how he made you feel

Power, a toy not given to children
Only the strong know how to exploit it
Who can speak of humanity when power is all there is
Only you and I my friend, because we are equals

To be so cold, unable to feel the warmth of another
Is to pass judgment upon a cemetery of silent tombstones
But why do I dream of these things
When love is for living hearts that tell the truth?

A weary face bears the burden of a thousand years
Even God could not convince us
He waits for each soul to reconcile its mistakes
And to ask how I chose which lie to believe

Is it enough to say how I want to live
I know that actions are the only way to reach you
And a kind face can possibly soften the blows of life
But first I must ask Jesus on the corner if he knows me

I’ve already swallowed you
You passed through my vital signs
What they said to you as you gasped
Was a promise that will never destroy you

I don’t have any questions
I’m never sure until I open my eyes
The time between a dream and the sunrise
Is what it feels like to not worry about you

I didn’t warn you as you fell
For once gravity was not an experiment
The only place we feel is where blood is made
Where we love is inside of me inside of you

I don’t need help with money
I don’t need help with my kids
I spend my time on what matters
Nothing’s easy that’s important

I’m not looking for a princess
I hope that’s all behind you now
It takes time to believe trust
Nothing lasts without honesty

Don’t be impressed
Just believe in who I am
People say they know things
Like the back of their hand
I don’t really know mine
But I know my heart

I’m looking for more than life
Not a list of weekend plans
It seems hard to understand
Nothing loves like a dreamer

Don’t feather my nest
Just believe I’ll come back
People say he can’t love
If he’s too restless inside
I don’t really know my mind
But I know my heart

If the wind does not breach the walls of your home;
and if the rain does not collect upon your floor;
and if your children do not cry for food or toys;
and if fear for life does not burn upon your mind;
and if begging for hope is not your only refuge;
then you are blessed

Bury me in your forgiveness
Leave me to thoughts of you
There is no temple for my heart
Except inside the one I loved

It's too much for us to take
Saying goodbye so many times
There is more than one love
Every path turns more than once

I don't need to go without
I didn't choose to live that way
I once knew how to be brave
But then I had to protect myself

I'm not going to crawl anymore
There is a way to say I'm sorry
I can't make it a way of life
If you can't tell me the same

It's not that I can't forgive
I can but it's not what it was
Our love began as a fantasy
It ended because it wasn't reality

I thought I could love like Jesus
I sank as soon as the water rose
I can no longer breathe like before
Being saved means drowning first

We know who waits for us there
All those we knew, you took for yourself
They might not have had time for faith
Too young, too much for old time religion
You made us in seven, we raise in the eighth

They had to go their own way
Leaving this place, did they ask a favor?
Did they tell you about me?
Maybe that’s not how it is by your side
We knew them Lord, we hope they’re free

Take care of them Lord
We can’t imagine it
They didn’t ask for streets of gold
But we’d be willing to pave it

You took them from captivity
Living in the wild, our mothers suffer so
The path we take, only our hearts know
They didn’t have enough time Lord
Salvation collection, whose debt did they owe?

Take care of them Lord
They couldn’t imagine it
They didn’t ask for streets of gold
But we already paved it

I only have myself to depend on
That’s what I realized today
I can’t ask too much of you right now
It would be romance and not love

The hands on the clock won’t wait
We can’t seem to slow things down
You might think I’m hiding from you
I’m just waiting for time to tell you it’s ok

You have to decide if it’s wrong to stay
But first you have to come my way
We can cry about our sins later
That’s when we will ask to be forgiven
If only we have the time

My hands are reaching for you
But first I must pray
Pray for love
Pray to love the right way
Pray you won’t decide to run away

I have to think about the light of sunrays
Time is the only thing I can depend on
There’s never been a day without tomorrow
I have to ask you if you believe in it too

You have to decide if it’s wrong to go
But first you have to tell me what I know
We can cry about longing later
That’s when we will try to keep living
With what’s left of our time

I can see forever in your eyes
You have become the sun and stars
Where dreams and memories fill my skies
Held together by your heart
I wondered what it might say
But I know they will always stay
Even if I watch for them alone

I can feel forever in your arms
A blanket covering my body
Where the night can cause no harm
Lying still there is nobody
That can make me stray
And I know your love holds sway
Inside a life that needs a home

I can live forever in your memory
A dream that can never end
I am still how you remember me
That is why you are my friend
Even if my heart lost its way
It hears your voice even to this day
Because your love laid the path I roam

I won't trample upon your garden
I won't pick flowers for myself
Instead you will grow into me
I'm the air you need to breath
The water your roots search for
The sunlight that calls for you
A flower that knows how to live
Inside the soil that is my heart

I don’t care if I lose
Even if it never ends
The feeling remains
Though I blame myself

If I was driven to you
It had to happen then
I watched you walk by
I thought I was involved

The wrong side of a shadow
The wrong side of your heartless eyes
I don’t know why the sun doesn’t blind you
You blocked me from love

I’m strong enough for life
But I’m not getting away with it
I try not to notice the falling rain
By crying only in the shower

The wrong side of a shadow
The wrong side of what you see
I don’t know why the past doesn’t blind you
It only tries to do it to me

It feels like friends smiling in our home
To love someone so much
Who finds her shelter in my arms
No matter how deep the dust in our eyes
Or the fear in our minds
The future is never enough to believe
But a moment of love is forever

We were not born fighting
But we know how life can be for others
We try to think about the life in our hands
It’s hard not to think of ourselves
My children tell me they love me
The older they get the more they know
A simple man makes life simple for them

We try not to be afraid
How much worse can life be
We will not let it divide our home
Who could love like those who survive
People look down on us while they play
Our hands carry the shame they assume
But we built our cribs with those hands

We don’t care which side of the line we live
Mother Mary carried her baby across
They tell us how we should live our lives
The love of our people is too strong for them
We don’t know why they hate us
The poor never write the history books
They can only pray for mercy on their souls

I want the reflection from me
To be of the life lived by you
There is no reason to pretend
My scars are all that are true

If life has been good for me
It means I'm a lucky man
There’s no reason to pretend
My own life is in God’s hand

There’s no reason to pretend
Sometimes I try to fool myself
I don’t want to fool anybody else
Why would I do that to a friend

When I think about the way
You live your life each day
I want you to see it in me
I can only live life my way
I hope that when you pray
You pray for a life with me

There’s no reason to pretend
There’s no reason to lose a friend
There’s no reason to pretend
There’s no reason to pretend

You are so beautiful
But I can’t think like that
I can’t think of lying in bed
That’s how dreams start

It was only a hint
A look from a brave eye
It’s not so strange to you
It’s the light of every man

Walking in the crowd
How do they do it
How I really feel
Is just a mistake I made

I heard a song
The kind for a wistful stare
I felt that way once
Until I saw him take your hand

I never feel empty
Or even lonely
It’s that an ordinary life
Is not what dreams accept

Giving you my love
Without a doubt
Maybe you won’t take it
But not because I didn’t try

You were crying
I watched you walk away
I hoped what I thought was true
But you never would say

I know about freedom
And how love can take it away
But I’m willing to take a chance
Going nowhere can be so cruel

It’s what I need to know
I think you said it already
I saw you smile
When I wasn’t looking

They were so poor,
their children played on dusty roads;
Mother Mary
cleaned her face with her own tears,
the hand
that once touched her became a clinched fist

Ana didn’t want to bring another child into this world,
but a family
was the only way they knew how to live;
they didn't own anything
except the flowers in the window

They need
to learn more about their people;
The only way
she could feed her baby was her body;
She felt safe
until her son needed real food

She prayed
for her body to keep fighting;
fighting for her children
her ******* remained full;
He knew she was kind
but she didn’t feel that way

The dust covered her heart
and the shoes she wore;
so he bought her a dress
even to wear in the hot desert sun
It was red
and fit her like sin
between two people in love

When she wore it
the other women watched quietly
She wore it for a week;
every day without washing
He watched her quietly
knowing she was strong
Then she took the dress off
and kissed Mary’s hand

She gave the dress to her best friend,
Juanita Hernandez;
Juanita washed the dress
while Ana fed her child;
the dress would be shared
because they shared the dust in the air

Their husbands couldn't wait
for their wife’s turn with the dress;
a red dress was for love
and not sin in the desert sun

They were so poor
the dust covered their memories;
but the dress was bright
and they wore it with dignity

A poor woman
is as beautiful as a rich woman
even if her stomach is empty
and her heart has become hard

She saw the other men
look at her when it was her turn;
she knew they wanted her
even though she was so sad,
the dress made them see;
They knew how she could love them,
but instead
she gave it back to Juanita Hernandez

Then she gave thanks to Mary again;
For her children still loved her
and her husband remembered why
he gave her the dress

What I've been afraid of
It changes every ten years
It would have been about dying
Now it's just dying before my time

The only thing that has passed is a memory
The hot flame I once held in my hand
Is now the sand upon which I run
To the ocean to cool the turmoil in my heart
Only the ways of the wild and tameless
Can understand me now

I don't know my fate
I just know my plan
I haven't written anything down
Did you really think I wouldn't remember?

Why were you so sure of yourself
You thought you could find something better
The sun at midnight does not burn
But it knows the path you run
I tried to follow you once
Only a fool can describe you now

All I have to do is look at my children
It's like seeing the moon at night
Nothing else matters anymore
It's all up to me now

I stand with my arms folded
As if I know what to say
It’s no life without a broken heart
We can live longer than we should
The way love fails is too cruel to consider
But what I see in you is how I want to die now

I'm not so weary of life
That I cannot build another future
But when I think of you it's so hard to know
Can I love you enough to keep you?

You cry perfectly
I had to watch
It was so beautiful
Your sadness was so you

It was the end
We both knew it
And what was next
Looking for someone new

I won’t forget
The feeling you made
I can’t leave it behind
The remains of what’s true

Your tears so deep
But you wiped them away
Your smile was your revenge
That’s when I knew

There is nothing left
Only to know the past
Walking away from sorrow
I watched a bird that flew

maybe it's just holes in my ears
i never did fill them up with gold
maybe it's just the color of my skin
i didn't try to draw it
you have no idea
it's what you tried to say
what i should have said
are you so weak
that a disagreement
makes you want to **** me
that's why i have holes
fill them with your hatred
and it will fall out the other side
try to rub it on my skin
and the ways of my father
will tell you that I am a man

I wouldn’t have thought it
I’ve never been there
So I had to talk about it
With someone who had

Sometimes I laugh without humor
That’s all you can do
Letting it go without anger
That’s how you keep a friend

The sun’s one less problem now
I had to work my way around
I once loved it too much
But that sin is ready to forgive

I like psychedelic butterflies
They can see the air they dodge
Murals welcome them home
It’s up to us to remember them

I’m going to let you see
I’ll stand there while you tell me
What is it that I do to you
Those are the eyes I will believe

There’s a cure I have in mind
I swallowed the pill before we met
Remission is not enough
I’m never going back there again

It’s a song always in my head
I let it happen but I don’t know when
I hear it all the time
Not the same but the feeling instead

I can fade in and out
If you catch me on the bend
Just don’t let your ego cry about it
It’s important to know where I've been

She cried how can I do that
I asked do what
She said you know what I mean
I said when it wears off you won't ask

I wish I knew how to take you there
It's a lonely valley of discovery
I can't speak to you while the music plays
When I tell you my eyes will then become yours

in the dark
a life of its own
is there a way to see you
it’s alright
it’s your own mystery
and you know why

the soft spot in my heart for you
is anywhere you decide to look
you watch me
in the middle of a song
or what the passion I live for
you know it could be about you
but you have be shared
the life I discover
is too narrow a hole to crawl

i can’t seem to decide
the monsters are so familiar
i understand them now
they can’t help themselves
so i ask a simple question
is love worth being eaten alive?

The flock exploded over my head
Diving down to the water below
What was once an empty gaze
Suddenly became sixty years gone

The candle burns quickly now
So I try to slow my breathe
I do not want flickering shadows
The erosion of light makes me sad

I want to walk in a cemetery
It’s the only way to really see
They have become who they are
They cannot defend themselves

I want decisions without influence
Too much is reserved for youth
What is left in the time I have left
I must make it mean something

I had something I wanted to say
But it just wouldn’t write itself
To see birds flying so easily
It’s only silence that knows humility

I wonder if someone would listen in
If only there was another line
They could hear the sound of my voice
And tell me why I cry when I pray

Walking on the side of the freeway in my mind
With our hearts dancing inside a memory
Like a song that takes your breath away
What can you say
But hearing your heart beat
Is something I will never forget

My smile for you is the one that is real
A gift that you will never have to pay back
Even if autumn is lost
All its colors too warm to turn
They wait for the season of their glory
While I wait for you to decide on mine

Let’s just make each other well first
We don’t have to discuss the ending
Or even each page along the way
Being happy is a clear mind
The next step is without pretending
And your embrace is my healing

I can’t feel if I’m passing through my own head
Or if it’s a movie projected by someone else
I talk so much trying to close the doors
It once was a large room with everything in it
Now it’s fingers of rivers flowing as the ice melts

I wouldn’t have thought it that way
But thinking is living and maybe it’s my fault
I cannot stop the complications of my garden
It takes time and patience, the answer is not easy
Too much sun burns and you can’t drink ocean salt

I watched someone blow smoke rings
I never could do things like that before
Instead I honor the ways of reaching for a bottle
And some old guitar blues prog playing in your head
The time past is a train that runs no more

I don’t mind waiting by the tracks
A barren tree silhouette shadowed by black and white
Being brushed off is a girl looking at her phone
I’m not entertained except by what’s hard to reach
You walked on by while I returned to the light

Finding a four-leaf clover
A game you played when you were younger
Laying by your feet
Watered by my tears right outside your door

A lucky penny
Lying next to the curb on the corner
It was in my pocket
A memory that always needed more

Life broke the promise
I didn’t like the reasons
I had to look inside at myself
It’s the only way to find my heart again

A black cat walking
I followed it because now I’m stronger
How can it be
That it does not scare me like before

It’s never too late if we are breathing
But I can’t ask you to change your life

Life broke it’s promise
I had to accept the reasons
I had to look outside myself
It’s the only way to find another friend

Here we start again
Looking into the same cup
Once so full
We assumed it was gone
But the dust said
Brush me off and start again

If there is one place to live
It would be a forest
On a night like this
Lost from the world
Shadows and moonlight
No day could be like this night

We’re about freedom
We aren’t thieves
Taking life from one another
We know who we are
The characters are the same
But the story changes

I don’t want to live like a shadow
Blinding darkness
We can be sad but not for long
A film noir
Black and white seems so real
But colors are what we feel

It’s so hard to see you now
I finally know what to say
If only I knew it then
But my heart was so wary

The end of the road
Is not where I want to live
The way it all began
Is the memory I carry

I would have said kiss me now
But the battle in my mind
Wouldn’t tell my heart how
I built the wall I finally climbed

Now I want to say I want you
But you can’t see me
You have your own life
There’s no one else to marry

But you’re still my girl
And if you didn’t know
You do now
You do now

I would have said love me now
But the battle in my heart
Was not enough to win
There’s only regret I can find

Crying for yesterday
And if I didn't know
I do now
I do now

Are y'all together?
Oh yeah she said,
I remind him of that every night
He amazes everyone
That's my curse
His is that I have the strength to leave
That's what she said
He needs to wake up
And she's the one to do it
Yes she is

The sun always sets first on cloud high
That’s what he thought as the flag waved
It flew against the background he once flew
Before the bursts of light that frame his sleep

From the nose of the bomber he saw it first
It was his life and it was in God’s hands now
There was something about peacemakers
He tried not to think about what was right

He thought of these things as the horizon bent
He never was one to hate anybody or anything
Oh the longing for peace but that was not today
He wondered if they would think he was weak

He knew a song about praying the morning after
But what if that’s too late to ask for mercy
It's been so long since he wondered about it
These things are only for poets to write

They didn’t know we were coming home
Who is that at the door? Are you all right?
Looking at you tells me that I need to be
Just never ask me that question ever again

I’m going to do different this time
I’m not going to do waiting
I’m not going to do afraid
But who am I kidding
I’m the one whose heart already paid

The screen behind me is full of sound
But you can’t hear anything
The images are all about life
What’s it about, seeing, believing
I’m sad that you can feel so much doubt

Did you notice something?
Everybody was together
Laughing and crying
What is it about, color?
I know we’re the same
We all want a lover

I don’t want to be at war with anybody
Say it loud, how are you anyway?
We all wasted days, so many
Stop thinking that way
It’s still your life
Nobody has taken it away

How did we meet
So many leaves, floating aimlessly
We both fell from the sky
Our eyes met, wet from the rain
Our bodies felt, the cold of the rake
Will the wind scatter us once again?

No matter how long the table
Or the age of the wine, born today
We can’t take it home unless we dream
We kissed with our eyes open
We both wanted to know
Can you love a heart already broken?