Marisa Lu Makil

Marisa Lu Makil Mar 2024

I don't believe we come from the ocean
But I do believe that there is a reason
We are so made up of water
And I believe that the same Person who made the tides
Put the same things in our veins
Our hearts long for the ocean
Because it is inside of us
And it longs to return to its home.

Some famous author said that we come from the ocean. I don't believe that's true, but I do believe that there's a reason why we are so drawn to the tide - a reason why we have such a fascination with stories of pirates and vikings. It's because they have lived the lives that something inside us aches to live. A life where all water returns to its source.

Marisa Lu Makil Jan 2024

13124

Tuck yourself in with your blanket of tears
Pull it tight around you until you fall asleep
Finding comfort in dreams
And when you awake, wrap yourself closer still
And remember that flowers grow where they're planted
And nothing can survive without water.

Marisa Lu Makil Dec 2023

Blood, Sweat, and Tears

Kiss my mind and not my skin
Strip me slowly of the walls I've built
Take my hands
And push me up against the walls
Of my soul
And learn every inch
Of who I really am
Until you know me as intimately
As does the darkness
That surrounds me
And the resonance of your being
Drips from my mouth
Like pleas for mercy

Thought I'd try a different kind of poem. Inspired by a random picture I saw on pinterest.

#blood #sweat #tears #kiss #love #soul #please #mind #skin #bare

Marisa Lu Makil Nov 2023

Red Herring

And in my darkest moments
And most desperate
I wish you had gone farther
So that the scars I bear
Might be visible
And I could convince myself
That I have the right
To be broken.

I had a strange dream last night. I woke up wishing for this. Then I just thought about how insanely messed up I am. Who wishes for deeper wounds to validate what happened to them? It's hard sometimes being trapped in my own mind, and I think I'm getting bad again.

Marisa Lu Makil Nov 2023

Enough is Enough

How can I put it into words?
How can I tell you how I feel ripped and folded at the same time
In a way that hasn't already been said?
Words don't escape me
They lay before me
Already formed into every combination
Stolen and used up
By someone else who's hurting
Until all that's left to say
Are words I've already said:
I'm just really really lonely

I don't even really know what I want to say anymore, but I want to say *something* . I want to tell someone, but I don't know how to say it when it's already been said a thousand different ways.

Marisa Lu Makil Nov 2023

School Day

I'm still learning
To talk about what happened
I'm still learning
That I went through a trauma
I'm still learning
That it wasn't my fault
I'm still learning
That I couldn't have done anything
I'm still learning
To admit that I'm still broken
I'm still learning
That it's okay to say it out loud
I'm still learning
That it wasn't handled right
I'm still learning
That it still affects me 13 years later
I'm still learning
That even though they told me I couldn't tell anyone, it's okay for me to tell the people I trust, or whoever the hell I want
I'm still learning
That I'm strong and brave and loved
I'm still learning
That I am not damaged goods
Just because I'm still learning
How to be a person again

I won't say that I already know these things or even that I'm fully convinced. But I will admit that I'm still learning, and that's okay.

#trauma #abuse #hurt #past #imstilllearning #strong #brave #loved #voice

Marisa Lu Makil Oct 2023

Delusions of Safety

I finally opened up
After all your prying
And you still didn't understand
How hard that was for me to do.

When you've been through trauma especially at the hands of someone close to you, you find that your trust is broken and hard to reassemble for anyone. And when you finally get the courage to speak, all you want to do is tell them how hard it was for you to say.