Suicidal tenencies follow me around,
I felt it so strong once that I took enough pills that my body started to drown.
I felt it again enough to make me hang from a rope, but still here I am, and I have no more hope.

A song that kept me going, "hold on until May"
I told myself that twenty times a day,
and when May came there was nothing else to hold on for,
So I held on to the rope, and tried to let it all go.

That song still haunts me to this day,
Every time I hear it I cry endlessly.
Time doesn't heal things.

Don't listen to the pressure,
Who even said that skinny is better?
Those magazines and tv shows?
Being hateful is money and money is what they want.
So they will hate every minute of the day to make sure that their pay isn't going away.

Propaganda that visible bones is better,
Lies that skipping a meal is alright,
And teaching little girls that with their weight
They will always have to fight.

This is not how we were created to be,
We are all beautiful internally.
Don't listen to the pressure,
Skinny really isn't better.

you have my will power
sewn to you
so that when you walk away
it does too

A mere meat, I am
In your eyes
I see hunger, thirst
Fooling around
For flesh, for satisfaction

You basked in my youth
Slowly stripping me
Not only of my covers
But also of my innocence
The thing I treasured most

And how naive I was
Allowing you full rein
On everything I held dear
My heart, most especially
Even if you did not want it

And now, I am devastated
Utterly destroyed
More broken than I had been before
Always asking myself
Who am I? Who was I before?
Innocent no more

Your timing's uncanny
I stepped,
Lightly
Like the feathery flow the clouds give off every morning I wake

Wherever you went
I've lost you,
Indefinitely
There was a cave deep down somewhere along the road you traveled
Alone
A cave dripping with wet icicles
that drip with the boarder line,
Insane, temptation
to hit you dead,
In the center of your doe, eye
****,
God ******

We only see each other through the trees film
Between green goddess leaves
and the white on your teeth
You're Jesus, the devil, and my breathing lungs
Pull the trigger and let me bleed out,
Quickly
baby,
With haste

I found the trail of your fingernails
Torn and worn
Chewed up  like a cowboys tobacco
Spit in between your crooked toes
splattered on top of a yellow
mountain of decayed flesh,
Spit everywhere except inside the *** you  haphazardly aim for
Story of your life, kid
Story of mine

Your skin flakes glimmer,  in between
your mess of your
depressions merciless obliteration
You laughed,
With the insane vigor
the wolf displays when
he howls his affections to the moons
unrequited love

Love,
Blood dripping from the corner of my lip
My teeth found their scratching post
Ill crawl, crawl, crawl
under your covers
Ill search for your forearms
meaty assurance
Ill grab on tight
and tear at you until you're sure you can feel once more
Ill swim through your sheets sea of rage
so we can sit and laugh together
Laugh at,
the white walls, life, the old ladies yelling at the cockeyed birds, your feelings, mine, our love, or absence of it, my death and your death too
Together or apart
We will laugh
and find our refuge with the crazy wolves howling with passion  
that cuts like a knife
through our chains that keep us stuck,
Indefinitely.