i’m convinced that
i have met an angel in real life,
wings spread and
halo glowing,
lips soft like
the sheets we’re tangled in
sweet like honey, showered
with stars from above
i am
entrapped, ensorcelled
by all that you are.
-a.c.b

it's terrifying
to pour your heart, your soul
the parts of yourself that
could break you,
into something that is not so much of a thing
but instead a piece of your very
being,
and have it turned down,
rejected,
spit on.
how do you recover
from such a loss?
-a.c.b

if i get the chance
to write a letter to say goodbye,
i’ll probably leave it blank
— don’t ask me why.

if i get the chance
to collect all our pictures
and put it in a collage,
i’ll probably not do it all
— again, don’t ask me why.

if i get the chance
to see you one last time:
hold you again and kiss you goodbye,
i’ll probably take it
but turn around at the last second
with my head down as i cry.

don’t ask me why.

don’t ask me why
i’ll waste all these chances
to say farewell,
because our love ended
and it didn’t end well.

don’t ask me why
i’ll give in to my sadness
when we could’ve had saved this
because
even if i tried to give my best
it’ll just end up the same;
a big old mess.

don’t ask me why
i’d rather leave than stay,
why i choose to walk away,
because all i’ll probably say is:
we tried
but love ran away.

You look into my eyes
and I allow;
Although I know through it
you look at yours;
I'm nothing but an object:
Something to get what you want.
Never the one desired.
At a loss for words,
Beaten up by distractions.
I'm tired but I can't yield;
The world never cared
for unannounced rejects
like me.
The only way I can escape
is to die.
And I can't change my mind.
I'm sorry.

in a red dress i kissed him
yes, on the lips i touched mine to his
and oh god did sparks fly
and oh god did those embers fall to our
feet and
start a fire that will not
can not die and
my scarlet dress still smells like smoke,
his residual fingers still touching me all over
and he is, and forever will be
my everything,
my North, South, East, and West,
my ocean and my stars and
every grain of sand on the beach
and never will i ever
ever
let him go.