I know you need me and I convince myself I need you
I do this for you like everything else
I say what you need to hear
When it's not what I want to say
I do what you want me to do when it's not what I want to do
I feel what you would want me to feel
Though those feelings aren't my own
I'm becoming the me you need
And losing myself all at once
Will you sit and watch my old self bleed?
Will I? Or will I realize what I've done?

Hopes rise and fall
Wings tear and break
Love is thin
But so is hate
Walls come down
That separate us
Revealing souls
So generous
Past is gone
Yet it is not
You are your past
The leaves that have rot
The wing that tore
The wall that fell
The hopes that crashed
And the love dispelled
Never ended us
Or prohibited
They became us
Unleashed not inhibited

Words are sharp
They cut
Deep
Thoughts are dangerous
They destroy
With ease
Judgements are false
They appear
Fast
Actions are powerful
Forever
They last

I can't remember what if feels like to cry
I wish I could but there's nothing worthy of tears
Sometimes I feel like I'm boring
But maybe I'm just lucky

All the friends you have now were strangers at a point
never hesitate
Say hi and be you

I have this scar
It sits on the inside of my wrist
It rides over bright blue veins
And you can't help but notice it
Or at least I can't
I've tried erase it
From my wrist from my life
Tried a couple ways
But still there it sits
For these last eleven weeks
Which is what it reminds me of
An eleven
Two strait lines
I reflect on it often
And get embarrassed every time my blood is drawn
Or I make a high five
But it will remain the only one
I promise

Except this is what people see
A small part of a larger story
No I am not about to go into why I'm a cutter the rest of this poem
Because I'm not
But everything I said is true
I have that scar
And looks like self harm
But it is not
I would never
It's obvious and persistent
And I did get blood drawn often
But because I was sick
lots of people don't know the story behind my scar
It take seven seconds to make an impression
Seven seconds for others to judge
The day I got this scar was the day I wanted to never judge again
Because the embarrassment I felt at blood tests for something I did not do
Was real
The judgement I feel I get while shaking a hand envelops me
I would never want someone else to feel that way
As humans we think we are so smart
But
We
Are
Not
That person we think we have figured out
We might not know at all
Anger might mean hurt
Annoyed might mean stressed
Withdrawal might mean depressed
That girl who wears the same sweatshirt everyday
Might only have one
The guy who bullies kids
Might be bullied at home
I don't know the story behind the face or the reason for the tears
Like they don't know how I got this scar
There's a story to every person and knowing the last sentence never once meant you read it all

I was entrusted with a secret
What seems forever ago
So long that I forgot it was one
and I let it out
The words slipped out with ease
And soon begged to come back in
But it was too late
The words lied there between us
Obvious and ashamed
Never to be taken back
Once you say it
It's already too late