like water
I poured myself into her until she was overflowing at the brim

like reinforced steel
I bridged my heart to hers and welded myself to her soul

like the sun
I filled myself with light to cover her darkness

like a blanket
I shielded her from the harsh world underneath the covers

like magnets
I orbited her aura until we inevitably collided

like a seed
I felt myself growing up from her

Then, like an idiot
I could tell she felt nothing.

Dated memories
date back
to dates
I want to date
some erase
and scotch you
in between to recreate
new dates in old dates

I leave.

The apprehension as I ascend is like no other.
It fails to compare to:
Meeting the expectations,
Overcoming that trouble,
Completing that task.
And then I reach the summit.

And then I dangle over the edge.
Watching his life slip away,
Hearing the disappointment,
Hiding myself from myself;
It has no equal.
The descent is a pain like no other.

The rise is a feeling so incomprehensible.
I have an abundance of:
Blind hope,
Ignorant happiness,
Unchallenged joy.
That is the feeling I crave.

This is the feeling I purge.
Deep sadness,
Incompleteness,
Suffocating dread;
I have too much of.
The drop is a deepness so empty.

I return.

A kiss.

Used to
Mean
Something.

Used to covet
A kiss.

Desire.
Crave.
Love.

A kiss.
Now?

If it's not for
You.

What's the point anymore.