I love the way you speak

I love the way you tease me

I love the way you make jokes

I love the way you answer math problems

I love the way you care about others more than yourself

I love the way you share about your beliefs

I love the way how intelligent you are

I love the way how you respect women

and I love every single idea of you.

But also I hate myself

For loving you with all of these things

I know, you didn't feel the same

I know, you didn't like me as much as I like you.

I hate the fact that I'm getting too attached again

With someone I can't have.

I hate myself that I still didn't learn

From what happened in the past.

This is how powerful love is

That you are "secretly" loving someone,

But hating yourself at the same time.

But after all, I'm starting to accept the reality

And I have to stop all of these stupid things,

Because you're still in the idea of

"We are just friends."

There's a person deep inside of me
That goes against all I believe
Only does what he wants to do
Do you have someone like that too

It's the sin in me that's troubling
As I blindly follow where it leads
You'd think that "NO" is what I'd say
But far too often that is not the case

After all these years I should know
Because it looks good don't make it so
As the guilt sets in after all
Another trip, another fall

There's a part of me that knows whats right
Though I too often side with the other side
Who can save me from this wretched life
Praise be to my Savior Jesus Christ

There are no words
To describe the pain.

This is therefore the end of my poem.

Looking to the screen
The ****** of the masses
Numbing us
Dehumanizing
Oh to live
*In the age of ice cream

If I can make promises
I can promise you two things
I promise I won't chase you
Or ask you to change your mind
But I also promise
If you ever wake up missing me
If your heart longs for me
If you stare into my eyes
And say that you love me
I promise I will love you
Just the same