Louise Ruen

Louise Ruen Jun 2016

Clarity

What feels like clarity has hit upon me
Like my senses went through a sharper like the pencil I use to write with
But my tolerance for ******* went down a whole lot.
So I don’t have time to hear on all your jibberish
Who you had *** with and why you weren’t feeling it
I would rather spent my time stuck inbetween these purple walls
With a book and a pen I’m fine here alone
Don't feel sorry, we were never really a match
I don't care that you have the new iPhone and wear Cartier
For me, you can stick your Valentinos up your ***
I can no longer pretend like it's all jollyness
When what I long for you can not give and you can't pay to get it for me
There's no reason to continue wasting time
My body might be stuck, but my mind never stops wandering.
Right now, that’s all I need.

#friendship #clarity #wastingtime

Louise Ruen Jun 2016

What's New?

You said that I am pretty, but boy what’s new
I’ve heard it a hundred times; it’s become oldschool
You gotta bring more game than a smile and a hey
Especially if you want me to come your way
But as man you shouldn’t move a bit and we should all just fall into your lap. Right?
Please, don’t be like any other man

I grew up looking myself in the mirror
My life’s set because they think I look pretty
Cut my hair short? You must be crazy. - stick me a dress and some makeup and let’s fix this mistake, baby
Look at my face. Someone who looks like this can’t be crazy. Right?
I’m a blue-eyed *****, who therefore isn’t allowed to be upset
So my life must be pure happiness. Right?

You said that I was pretty, but boy what’s new
I’ve heard it a hundred times; it’s become oldschool
You gotta bring more game than a smile and a hey

The weight is making me looked crippled
I was told to straighten up, coz it wasn’t pretty
What will I do when I get old? - I guess I’ll have nothing to fall back on
I’m young and naïve, and even though things develop, they don’t really ever change.
Because I’m a privileged girl in a vain, vain world
Therefore my life must be true happiness. Right?

So baby don’t cry if you’re ‘too beautiful’ for demons.
They don’t know that beauty is your demon.
They don’t know your life is far away from bliss.

I cried when I reread this. Everything is really only an illusion.
If you let it be.

Louise Ruen Jun 2016

Search of Freedom

In search of freedom.
I jumped
Only to become an anchor,
Opening my mouth only leads to drowning

#freedom #drowning #anchor

Louise Ruen Jun 2016

Havoc

Air comes out of her mouth in short, loud breaths.
Her palms are sweaty
Anticipation is in her eyes, as her mom reads the pages
The pages that were never meant for anybody to see,
But after writing them she realized that they had to be shown.
Because words are meant to be heard, read and said. Not just written.
If she had know, the pen would never had touched the paper
Now she brushes her hair behind her ear, as her mom finishes the last line with a heavy sigh.
"I don't understand," her mom says, and she realizes that they'll never understand.
That her kryptic codes are for her only to detangle, and all they'll ever do is guess.
All they'll ever do is worry, because what if something's wrong?
And something is wrong. Plenty of things are wrong, but not they things they have in mind.
Because they'll never understand.

So I just keep on fighting to be heard, with the pen as my greatest weapon, because I'm tired of this ****.

#words #writing #writers #anticipation #dissapointmenf

Louise Ruen Jun 2016

Outlet #1

I breath in, I breath out
The cold air is filling up my lungs, and I haven't slept i n a month
So I keep going on, because life's rushing by me,
and I can't figure out it's joy or denial, but I could use a good party, to drink my self senseless
No one will let me in.

Soon I'll be under a different sky, start a new life.
I'll not quit the act.
Perfection is haunting me, along with expectations of who I should and shouldn't be.
Tell me, do the best or worst things lin life come for free?

Just make me feel good for once.
Just make me forget for once.
Make me know what it feels like to be discovered, when you're uncovered.
Tell me, how does it feel to dance freely for once?
How it feels when you scream out your lungs like,
no one could every hear you,
break you,
see you,
catch up with you.
Is it good?

I breath in, I breath out.
Not quit the act.
Drink myself senseless.
Haunting me.
Under a different sky.
Wrong or right?

I'm so overwhelmed with all the positive response I've been getting on my last few poems. THANK YOU.

#life #reality #expectations #stress

Louise Ruen May 2016

Flowers

I know what you think, and that you think you  know what you see.
You know everything better than me.
You might be right, but I know that you’re wrong.
I feel the pull, but the pain is small
And all you have to say is: “You’ve changed” - and I hope you’re right
Now flowers are growing rampant in my mind.
Extending my horizon, making me realize that this life is beautiful
That this life is mine and mine alone
That eventhough I’m completely ordinary with crooked teeth and dull brown hair, I’m not hindred from doing  extraordinary things.
That’s what life’s really about.
I don’t need  future plans - which is great, because I have none -  but that doesn’t mean I don’t know what I want from life.
Call me liberal, if that means you allow me to live life the way I invision
See what’s beyond the flowerbed in my mind.
See the moon from South Africa, Brazil or maybe Tibet.
You should have known that I wouldn’t come back the same that I left
But all you say is: “You’ve changed”
All I can say is: “Good”

A couple of months ago I came across a picture through the social media that spoke to me. It illustrated two unknown identities (you could only see their frame). One had a few flowers coming out of her head. Her little speaking-bubble said: "You've changed". The other person replied "I Hope So". She had the double amount of flowers growing from her. Thinking about this picture today inspired this poem.
Don't be afraid to spread love, kindness and live up to your full potential. Extend your horizons and imbibe life. When it comes down to it, it's afterall pretty good.

#life #future #flowers #change #plans #positivity #travel #clarity