So I read to you until you
Fall asleep
Over the phone at 12 am
Because nothing
Is more beautiful
Than you

You weren't good for me
The way a cigarette isn't good for anyone

I wanted to **** you in
And breathe you out slow
Use you up
Until all you were was trash

But surprise
In the end
You drug me down with you
And now I've got
To go to the doctors
For all these new scars
I've got on my legs
To match the marks you left
On my lungs

Laying in my bed
Full of disappointment
At 10:24 pm
Cause you were supposed to
Be here next to me
But instead you're out
With a bottle on your lips
And powder around your nose

I knew you'd be bad for me
But ****

And the thing was
I was falling so hard for you
I had jumped off the cliff
Hoping you would catch me
At the bottom

I wore
Your necklace of hickeys
Around my neck

But once I saw the ground
And realized you weren't there
The necklace turned into a noose
And tightened right before
I hit the ground

My last thought was
How relieved I was you caught me
Even if if wasn't in the way
I wanted

Funny how
I went from
Church every Sunday
And kissing boys
Only happened a week
After I started dating them

Strange how now
I haven't gone
To church in months
And how
Me and my best friend
Take turns
Giving the same boy
A ******* on the way home
From another party
After getting drunk
And fighting another girl together

Baby I know
I'm a sad existence
I'm a sip of cold coffee
At 9am
I'm the coupons
Stuffed in your purse
For 10% off at the hardware store
Down the block where you grew up

****** I know
That I'm a mediocre drawing
On computer paper
Made by some freshman
Who thinks they're good
At everything
I'm a car that leaks oil
And I'm a blanket
That isn't quite warm enough

Jealousy is the most
Insidious emotion
It eats you away like nothing else
Ever could