It feels like a tumour in my brain
It feels like I can't think anymore
I don't know where they're gone
I don't know how to fit these words in no longer
I don't know how to make sense out of these lingering thoughts
I don't know how to write anymore


It's choking me
Because it feels like the one of the only 2 things I was passionate about
Has been snatched away from me
I want to write
But my thoughts don't connect anymore
I want to write
But my happiness won't give me  space
I want to write
But I just don't know how to anymore
Is this it?
Will I never be able to write again?
Is this what it's supposed to feel like, the end?

The day will come
where someone will relive the dead flowers in your soul
where someone will ignite the dying flame in your heart
where someone will teach you what it feels like to love
where someone will explore the deepest, darkest emotions you feel
where someone will look forward to studying you
where someone will bring to live the parts of you that feel so dead
where someone will love and cherish everything you hate about you


&  

on that day,
*nothing else will matter.

Did you grow up thinking a streak of black ink across your eyelids
would make you feel better about yourself
Did you grow up thinking fake lashes
would make someone fall in love with you a little more
Did you grow up thinking eye-enlarging contact lenses
would make someone look at you any differently
Did you grow up thinking a bottle of liquified foundation
would make you hide away all the things you hate about yourself
Did you grow up thinking a tube of cheap gloss
would make your self esteem increase by leaps and bounds
Did you grow up thinking that learning how to apply mascara
would make you the pretty woman you deserve to feel like
Did you grow up thinking a size zero on that dress
would make you feel like you have it all?


Or did you grow up asking yourself
*When will I start accepting me, for me?

I think poets function best at their lowest,
For I haven't been able to write for days now.
Since the day you made me yours,
Since the day you became mine.
You turned my lows into highs,
You turned my drunken melody to dance rhythms,
You turned my lonely thoughts into "Are you okay, sweetheart? "
And you,
Are my sweet serenade.

I will tell you what it felt like to fall in love with you

It felt like plumetting onto a bed of roses at high velocity
It felt like being ****** into a tenebrous vortex
It felt like my emotions were indefinite

I couldn't draw a conclusion as to what I was doing
I couldn't exemplify my frame of mind

It was agonizing, not knowing




But today,
No word in any language can describe how you make me *feel

why do bad things happen to good people ?

There are some days where

I am so grateful
for the people around me
for the love that never ceases to be showed
for the care that is always emraces my soul
for the joy that succumbs my bones
for the hope that dissolves within my veins
for the faith that envelopes my heart
for the courage that flows in my blood,
and fills my entire being

Then there are the days

I wish I didn't exist
for the stress that surrounds me
for the sadness that never ceases to shine
for the anger that embraces my soul, with so much pain
for the annoyance that succumbs my bones
for the dissapointment that dissolves in my veins
for the agony that envelops my heart
for the grief that flows in my blood,
and fills my entire being