how is it possible

that love can give your heart wings

yet can also tear them out?

Please don’t tell me I shouldn’t
I know I know I know.
But you were the one who left me
so don’t tell me which road to go

I am doing my best to get over you
can’t you see?
so why do you stick around and make sure I’m okay.
just let me be

please.

you know that feeling
when something happens
that you knew probably happened but just didn’t want to believe it was true
but now you know it’s true
and so your heart just kinda sinks to your feet and you aren’t quite sure how to pick it back up
and you don’t even feel like crying because all your anguish just dissipated into the air  
and now you feel empty
so you just sit there on the floor
staring at nothing
all the life and color absent from your eyes

yeah

i know that feeling too

sometimes at night
i molt out of my skin
and drown my lungs in alcohol
that burns like gas going down
but still feels better than the rotting in my chest
you say i don’t drink
you’re right. i don’t
but she does
she’s tragedy, slithered deep inside
laying coiled around my ribs
protecting my anguish
and disguising it as something else
you see, i still think about you
but you lay with another girl
in the same bed we laid in
bottles are my only salvation
away from the thought of you
but shhh
don’t tell anyone

I’ll always remember
the way you slammed that door shut
and kissed me like you were suffocating
and I was a breath of fresh air

I can feel the lioness inside me
trapped behind the bars in my chest
a quiet flame still flickers in her eyes
but it’s not as bright as before
I can hear her limping
and whimpering
and crying a silent wail of anguish
that echoes throughout my veins and rattles my bones
she’s hurt you chose another over her
but more importantly, she’s hurt that she let someone like you, get so close
and have so much power
over someone like her
she won’t let it happen again.
she is done pacing
she is done waiting
she is done wondering
and even though you are all she could ever want in this world
she derserves better
and she will find it

you raised an eyebrow at me
like what i said what the most perplexing thing ever
and that dimple by your lip popped up
and i swear the streetlight flooded into your brown eyes like magic
i told you to stop looking at me like that
and a laugh that sounded like the best song I have ever heard escaped your lips
it was that moment
i knew i was *******

it’s funny you think you can break me
as if my walls were made of brick
that you could just smash through so easily
i don’t need walls
and i don’t need armor
because i was not made to be broken

You held my notebook in your hands, flipping through the pages gingerly

You have no idea
how hard it was for me
to place my soul in your palms
and watch you read the words that constantly bleed out of my heart
from a wound you caused

i still think about you
and wonder if you care
but you never call or text
it’s like i was never there

you don’t know what it’s like
this feeling of grey
i still think back to that last night
i wish you would’ve stayed

i gave you all of me
and got nothing in return
my bedside’s full of empty bottles
that go down like a slow burn

even though you hurt me
I still wish you nothing but the best
People say that’s what love is

and i know.  i have loved you ever since we met.

a fire starts to build in my stomach
igniting the words that i swallow every time i see you
the flames lick my lips every time i open to speak
can you see them?
they crave skin to sear and bone to melt
my body grows scales to cover the lacerations you left
and my arms dissipate into leathered wings so they can no longer hold you
can you see how you’ve changed me?
wait, you didn’t change me
you just unleashed me