these are getting old
im trying to sound like someone else when im writing
(don't you think that's ******* stupid?)
not like when we made forts out of each others arm
and slept safely
(no one sleeps cuddling; it's hot, it hurts, it's uncomfortable)
but we did.
took anything to fix the pieces inside
(broken hearts and homes and rivers of hormones)
and my eyes the desert where the crows find their homes
dry eyes of days like today
(when everyone wants a slither)
and im tired - don't want to pretend

im a useless excuse of a human being
im tired of being sad
and im changing everyday
because i promise someday
i can make myself feel alive
and i can't promise i'll be everything i need
but i'll give myself everything i've got
i'm not the perfect girl
and i can't shake the feeling that
i can't get anything right
but i make a lovely mess
and how can people pin their happiness
on another person when they can't even love themselves?
can i give you a piece of advice from somebody:
(who’s been through this a few times already)  
trust your gut
my biggest mistake was thinking someone else could fix me
only i can fix me
im going to spend my life trying to feel alive
whispering i am broken and a wreck
but i'll love myself until im dead