give it a name,
makes it all too real.
is it true?
is that really what it was?
i was too young and didn't know different
is that what happened to me?
whats the difference if I accept this name into my life or dismiss it?

Lord, watch over my heart.
Right my mind, if it wonders.

Lord, I pray this man is of You if he is for me.
God, keep my heart pure and righteous as I get to know his heart.
Father, help me be watchful of his actions and fair and just, not letting my heart be swept away by fleeting things.
Lord, I pray this is something true and different and pure and good.
God, I pray you keep us in your hands and keep us safe.
Father, keep us pure and holy, blameless before your eyes.

Lord, I know he loves you.
It's evident in everything he does.
He loves all these kids so well.
He is hard working and always willing to serve.
He is loyal to those he loves.
He trusts in you, Father.
He is bold and confident in you.
He's not afraid to lead and to speak his mind.
He is a thinker, and he carries a deep heart.
But somehow he keeps the room light-hearted, always, with his humor.

God, make it evident to us both if this is a gift from you.
Father, lead us to make good decisions and to be wise.
Lord, keep us safe and pure and honest.
God, we trust in You to lead us in Your marvelous ways.

sometimes i wonder if ill ever find that one guy,
the one who will hold me tight on the darkest nights,
the one who wont judge me for who I was and sometimes still am,
the one to laugh with til we're both in tears on a Friday night.

I'm not asking for "the one", my night and shining armor,
just a good guy who'll love me and God right.

there are so many good guys, but none seem quite right.
and I don't think that's me being picky.

so maybe ill never find that guy,
and I'm trying to deal with that fact.
to find comfort in your arms alone, Father.
because at the end of the day, You're all I need.
but that fear and daunting thought still persists.

in these times when the pain of my own heart
and the world around me feels overwhelming,
when the future feels unsure and daunting to step into,
when my plans keep changing and the world somehow
keeps spinning into madness,
Father I know you have a plan,
and that your plans are good.
That if I'm alive on this earth,
your plans for me are not complete yet,
but God sometimes I wish they were.
Sometimes I wish with my whole heart that I could
just be held in your arms already.
To be surrounded by complete peace and forego the striking pains of life.
Father, sometimes I wish You'd take me away from this place.
Either by cancer, an accident, or otherwise, sometimes I pray nothing else other than to not exist anymore.

what we had wasn't bad by any means
but I think relationships are meant to be more than that

we have immense love and care for each other
and we'd both do anything for one another

but where's the fire?
the passion?
the fight?

what we have is a best friend-ship,
not a relationship

stuck between wanting to show you my whole heart
while hugging you in your black-wornout-denim jacket oh so tight
and
holding my heart tight to my chest and talking about the weather.

i want to be close to you again, but i know we can't go back.
i don't want to break my heart again.

right now,
i could be singing my soul out into the wind
and one little drop of rain
could shut my mouth and reduce me to ashes

right now,
my life is so very fragile.
it takes so much to make me happy,
and so little to tear me down completely.