I write about every person who enters my life

thats why I never find closure
so I'm stuck in this infinite loop
of love and depression

the only two options I have left
is to stop living
or stop writing

but I live because I write and I write because I live

Do you remember when we first met?
Our greetings, our smiles, our laughter
Hitting it right of the bat we became friends
Like it was fate that brought us together
Because I do.

Do you recall when I first asked you out?
My heart burst when you said that sweet yes
After having overcome my inner single-boy shyness
And you sheepishly smiling as I jumped around
Because I do.

How about when we had our first date?
Strolling around the mall like children as they play
Sharing stories and laughing as we enjoyed the time
The movie, the food, do you remember all that?
Because I do.

That first kiss you and I shared?
God that was a night to remember
Your sweet lips locked against mine
Under the moonlit, star-filled night sky
Because I do.

How about our first fight?
Do you remember that awful night?
I said sorry when you had gone silent and started to cry
Hugging you tight, realizing what I did was not right
Because I do.

That evening of dance and joy, do you recall?
The night of prom, where I took you as my partner
You looked beautiful that night, so much that I saw no other girl
The way you smiled as we danced, rested your head against my shoulders
Because I do.

Lastly, do you remember when we had to go our separate ways
Knowing that we can never work out with our present state
The love we had after all we’ve been through fleeted
Like the leaves in the fall, our feelings flew away.
Because I do

All these I remember, vividly and clearly
But now, you act as if the only thing that happened
Was meeting each other and becoming friends
You remember things differently from what I had said
But I didn’t.

Three hundred sixty five thousand
rats are born daily.
One or two could be a mouse and
these numbers aren't failing.

The rat pops out
and starts racing through the maze
the bells are loud
He sits in class dazed
walking across the Stage
completely amazed
in rage.
This is it?

Off to the rat factory
constructing little rat watches
too costly for his hourly
jealously he covets
his rat mouth tastes sour.
Comfort, a paw swipe away
promised he was Happily Ever After
he'll get it someday
One way or another
Even if he hasn't to steal, cheat, and lie
Even if he has to die.

I can feel you losing interest
I can feel you leaving
or, at least,
wanting to

I know I'm hard to deal with
I know I get so sad that everything hurts
I know I get so sad that I hurt everyone
but I swear I love you

But I understand if you need to go
because there's someone out there
who's going to treat you exactly how you should be
someone who doesn't get sad
and push you away
someone who can handle the world
and doesn't think about leaving constantly

I understand if you don't love me anymore
I don't either

-e.w.

Don't even try
To tell me it will be okay
That God will make it okay

Because I believe in God,
But I do not
Believe I will ever be okay

Don't even try
To tell me I can trust you
That you will listen and care

Because I will never trust you
And I know
That you will someday leave me

Don't even try
To say there's nothing wrong
That I am overreacting

Because there is something wrong
And I am not
'Just a little bit sad'

Don't even try
To save me
Like there's anything worth saving

Because I realize
That I am long gone
And that I am too worthless to save

*Don't even try

Somewhere to go
To run and hide
To contemplate
My suicide
And no one reads these
So it doesn't matter
A cold barrel
And brain splatter
A taught noose
Or poisoin infused juice
It I feel is coming to an end
All I needed was a friend
But its too late now
The choice has been made
Let me go and let me fade