i ddnt know you could fall in love at first sight.
..but how she grabbed my attention.
the combination of her characteristics.
she was gifted...

lately ive been feelin down
not myself.
my brain
starts to swell...
that i continued to drown,
drown myself.

my heart is broken but open
fragile but closin.
my heart tht you chosen
will you embed it?
my stomach is turnin
it is fckn hurtin.
ig im overdosin...
so many emotions
how could you cheat.
the hole in my heart
my heart is explodin
ig were now opponents
blood is now overflowin...
and now tht i think.
why did i open?

now im completely broken...

but open.

my words soothings your ears.
musically..
but how do i prove them to your heart?
i failed to realize how to start.
i broke your heart.
confused your mind.
created broken art.
i reached your limits.
i never understood how to start?
now i see where you stand.
lost, hurt, probably?
destroyed.
now you see us apart.
i failed to realize how to start?
i realize it was me.. toxicity.
self-love wasnt in me.
destroyed me to destroy you.
i wasnt ready.
but i cnt let you go!
reread these words.
can you help us restart?
and make art!

i wanted you
to feel my love
rushin through my tight hugs.
i wanted you to see
i wasnt givin up
on you
myself
mainly us
i wanted you
even if you fussed
i stayed when it was rough
i wanted you to say
things you were
scared to say
show me
tell me
its a must
i juss wanted you
to know i cared,
i loved you w everythin
showed you all my trust.
even after everythin..
tht happened.
i want you.
i want an us.

can i tell her tht
she was her.
i wanted
...her...
all of she!
i juss knew
she is
guaranteed.
to be w me..
her... she is
juss so beautifully.
...scrutiny...
eyes, nose, lips
& body... mainly
personality!
she is her
her is she
wow she’s so
carin..lovin
mainly
extraordinary.
i juss want her
to be with me
can i make you my
queen on saturday?
nvm.. i think
she’s has somebody..
sadly i thought
maybe it
was jus an imaginary
but now were friends..
and in the end
can i tell you tht?
she is her.
her is she

... i wanted her to be w me

even at your worst times
even at your best
ill never leave yo side
&
i promise to stay
nothin in this life is ever consistent
but for you ill be there

look into the mirror,
tell yourself
youre beautiful

this girl.
came into my life
flourished.
i couldnt ignore it
she defined the definition of love
its like she refurbished my heart
lived into my brain unfurnished

why me?
you know...
i was there.
from beginning to end.
through heaven and hell.
i done stupid.
but i cared.
seen sides of me..
i never thought you’ll see.
i reached out
many times
with no replies.
im juss so blind..
but lookin into your eyes.
you got me.
broke me.
told me you’ll leave me.
but you stayed.
and said..
im waiting for your feelings to fade..
why me?
maybe you were afraid
but you knew!
i loved you..
but thts not goin to make you stay
one day im ok.
next day im in tears
yellin in my pillow..
waiting for my heart to heal.
i prayed..
and asked god
why me?

you.
id be afraid to lose you.
jus knwin the only thing, holdin me is you.
so tightly
i can see my viens rushin blue.
jus lookin at you thru my rear view
so beautifully.
so real so true
you

i love. you.