you know that
I wear my crazy
on my sleeve.

it's best if
you just
let me be.

aren't there other
train wrecks
for you to go
and see?

if you really
love me,
then leave.

because there
isn't anything
here to see.

external validation
it's your drug of choice

it starts with
gold stars for
good behavior

the seed to please
it just grows and grows
into a wild jungle vine

gold stars turn into
compliments and "likes"
it feels so nice
but it's not

because you
need it
more and more
you have to
win the award

it controls you
and you don't
even know
who you
are anymore

buried among
other favorites
you sing to me
about the girl
I used to be
beautiful
yet
reckless
oblivious
preoccupied with
my own
pain or gain
so naive

I dreamed then
I was naked
I dream now
I'm behind the
steering wheel
but the car's
driving me
out of control
out to sea

I hear your voice
and I want you
to come over
and wrap your
arms around me
I've grown older now
I'd never let you down

but then, too soon
the music changes
**** ******* jagger
reminds me
I've already
found what
I need

but instead of
being comforting
the choir, that chorus
it mocks me
and
it taunts me

maybe I will blow
a 50-amp fuse
I'm tired of
the self-abuse

I already have
what I need
but I think
you're what
I want

you're what
I feel
but it's
not real

you're used to the game
we're all guilty of playing

when she doesn't really
mean what she's saying

but, oh no, love, not me

I want to know your soul
what song does it sing?

i hope your
i hate you's
turn into
thank you's
and your
*******'s
turn into
love you's
one day

even though
you hurt so
i hope you
see what I do
one day

I'm selfish
it's true
I don't want
to lose you

pressed pause
hopeful to make time
for you to realize
you're not that small

i'm sorry for my haste
i know how you hate it
how i always want
to save you

i hope the pause
doesn't prolong
the misery
but helps you to see
the amazing

if one day never comes
see you in my dreams
feel you in the beats
here's the space
you requested

even if you stay
bitter forever
know i'm here
always
never say never
i love you
as fiercely as ever

sweetest girl
my greatest joy is
watching your
imagination grow
I'm honored to
be a spectator to
how it unfolds

even when it frightens you
because that unfortunately
is the cost of creativity

but don't try to stop it
that will only weigh down
your effervescent spirit
that would only mix your
true colors to ashy grey

I'll hold your hand
walk you through
the gravel and sand
and remind you to
appreciate the grand

your wonder
delights me
I can't wait
to see how you
surprise me

I miss
the slow dances
the awkward glances
the heat of the chase
the pace to anticipate

as the world stops, unwinds
when you find
yourself
falling in love
for the first time.