This is my truth:
I fall too easily in love.
Like the tall thin golden grass,
I bend in the winds of admonishment.
The slightest touch will snap me,
The lightest breath will move me.
I sway toward whispered "I love you's"
Lean in toward sighed "I want you's"
Break at sobbed "I need you's."
I am a fool for heavy-lidded gazes
And lazy touches in the dark.
I slay myself over and over again,
I bleed out for empty words.
I cannot define myself outside
The context of the words you sing.
I have lost my identity somewhere
Between the cracks in your voice
When you beg me to come back home.
I can only stand the sound of my name
When you breathe it down my throat.
This is my truth:
I fall in love too easily.
I define myself by the terms set
By sad boys with empty hearts
And tired eyes.
I fall in love for convenience,
So as not to be alone.
My love for him was borne of a need
To sate the hunger I felt when you left.
In truth, I have always been yours,
And that is all I know how to be.

Let me stifled by your scent
And drown in your sweet bitterness;
I'll let my heavy lids lay flat
As you take away my spirit
To where you call tranquil and calm.

As my tired shoulders fall gently,
I am filled with your warm caress
Along with nostalgic portraits
Frame by frame running in my head -
Ever vivid and enthralling.

The consoling embrace you give
Alleviates grief and its pang
Even just for a little while.

As I savor your poignant sting,
I can hear my heart as it sings,
"Sorry, but I just can't grow wings."

we have words we shared
and now
I cannot think
of coffee
or of mysteries
without you popping up between my eyes.

you run through my head
like drips of coffee
run down my cup
i can see you there
and i know you shouldn't
really be there.
but i encourage you to move faster
and you sometimes make me dizzy
not will all of the running
but with your beautiful words
that you whisper to me late at night
i believe these more than anything
because you're almost always half asleep
and you don't really realize what you're saying
so you speak your mind
and all of your thoughts
then run out of your mouth
like that very first drip of coffee

You cause
a break inside my organs
Pointing out my flaws
our differences.
You are at peace.
I sit jittering, worrying
what everyone will think
of when I didn’t care
you made me laugh at
everything
Changes.  You’re not right for me
Nor I for you, but I can’t help
Thinking
What if?  Then I remember
you’re not what nor
Everything I want.

You are an intellectual snob you
have a depth about you
I would love to delve in,
a psychological study
that even the best critics would praise,
but I don’t want anyone else to have been there
or ever go there.
I cannot hold on to you
tear me away while
You’re haphazardly gluing us together
We’re a kindergarten art project
messy, trying to see
Beauty within the confusion,
unfinished    

You asked me
Where am I most at peace
4 years old.      
I could be anything
No fears
I hadn’t been ripped apart.
I was the girl that said everything,
until I felt the need to screen my thoughts,
like the filter you use to make your coffee
each morning.  I wish that’s where I was,
having you tell me
that you like your women like your coffee
Dark and bitter.

I can look past your chauvinistic ways,
not giving a **** about anyone.
You’re not really closed minded
You just act like it,
which annoys the hell out of me
Sometimes.  I wish life was simple.    
But then
I would never know your complexities nor
Feel the things you help me feel,
like hate for train whistles
or the burn of gin hitting my throat.
Music      
you introduce me to
offstage trumpets, bad movies.  Your politics,
your brown eyes      
and how you can hear frequencies
that most everyone else can’t.  I worry
that you hear
the fear in my voice and heartbreak
With every word I speak.

When were you going to tell me?
Or was that your plan all along?
To throw me out
like yesterday’s coffee grounds
or cut up scraps
Used and unwanted.
I wish I could tell you
to tell her you don’t want her
but me instead,
you don’t, I don’t want you to.
I want holding hands, laughter
comfort, personality, humor, intellect.
You want that plus things
I can’t give
But you always take.

You are your coffee
disgusting, caffeinated,
addicting
the only patch that helps is
comforting words you never spoke.
We had many conversations
of your desires, lusts, mistakes,
but I was burned,
by lies, distrust.
You left, like always,
a harsh, acidic aftertaste
on my tongue.

Love, well love is like a good cup of coffee

We all want to drink it without getting burnt

i woke up this morning
(the morning after you left me)
and drank a cold cup of coffee
it wasn't good
but it tasted right
fitting
for the occasion
bitter
lukewarm
left a bad taste in my mouth

You taught me to have coffee without sugar.
Only now do I understand what that means.
Bitter lover.