I don’t think I sleep anymore
There is a time between awake and awake
Eyes closed
In bed even
But I never remember

I think of the last time you touched me
Fear the next
When?
Ever?

Restless, aching, inside and out
I don’t want to rest my eyes
And yet
There is no solace anywhere else.

Who knew
That even now, 4 years later
Dates, states, kisses, mistakes later
You’d still have my heart

Be with me.  
Love me because we match.  
I’m crazy and you know everything.  
I have holes and so do you, we can fill them.  
Strip away my ignorance, replace it with knowledge.  
My brain craves it, the rest of me just wants someone to be by.
I’m unhealthily infatuated with you, a sick obsession.  
I cannot not think of you because you fascinate me too much.  
Who are you and what have you done with me?
Captured some part of me that makes me not care about myself or state of mind.  
It’s making me crazy.  
Did you know you could do that?  
That you have the power to drive someone up a wall.  
And I should be canonized for the crap I put up with, I make miracles everyday.  
I want to be with you just to talk to you all the time and discuss music and everything that is wrong with the world.  
And even the things that are right, on occasion.  
My mind can’t keep up with you,
You’re one too many.
You give me headaches.

Sometimes I want to hate you
I was leaving
But you were the one who left
How you kept me wanting
Even when I was gone

Now I’m uncertain
Fearful
Guarded
You ask why
And I can’t remember

How do we fall in love?
Easily
But it takes so much courage
To say it
Aloud

I can be without you
Until the emptiness
Creeps in
And reminds me
How you made me full

“I could kiss you”
“Why do you say this”
You don’t respond

I wish it was okay
For me to want to kiss you
But I fear
The judgment
Stop it.

Stop it
Because you don’t even know you’re doing it
Doing what?
Make me fall
In love with you

I can’t stand to be alone
But I need my solitude
This feeling chills me to the bone

How does it feel?
To be in love.
Is wonderful, fiery, frustrating

Where do we go?
When we can’t be a part of it
We sit enviously, staring

The emptiness consumes me
The pain never ends
You don’t understand, you can’t understand

The burning, the aching
How I can’t decide
Leaving me in silence

It pains me to know
How I hurt your heart
But mine too is bruised

How can it be fixed?
Will it ever be fixed?
We just don’t know

So we jump
Take the risk
Hanging by a thread
Fearful, crying, screaming
Hoping,
Praying
For Release

Back and sometimes forth
Mirrors, thoughts reflect as well
Stories of my life

I don't believe in soul mates.  
He doesn't have to be perfect
or make me perfect.  
He doesn't have to say he loves me everyday
or bring me chocolate
or sing to me.
He just has to be real and honest,
and not even all the time,
just be a ****** person.
It is most important
because you appreciate being
and recognize, notice it.
I like to think I know who I am.
Together we make two people
who like to be together
and be apart,
but you don't have to text me
every morning and night.  
I know you're there, alive,
Out doing things,
to make yourself more of a person.
You’re not my everything,
but you’re beautiful being everything you.