Home alone.
You break down,
letting out everything,
crying as loud as you can.

Your family come home,
and here you go.
Fake smile,fake laugh,
pretend everything okay.

They do not suspect a thing.
They do not suspect their child is broken and falling apart.

but i also want to write without you.
i want to escape your pages and feel
the rough texture of my own. soon,
when all the want has vanished and the
thoughts i have can be fully unraveled,
when the flowers have wilted and dawn
has reached its maximum fluorescence,
when the pebbles stop skipping and we
cease to be a single entity, bound by
ink and rhyme, rhyme, rhyme,
then finally, I can be my own lines
my own paper, my own spine
my own verse, my own free soul.

Forget his name, you must forget.
You murmur in your sleep.
Forget his face, try even through closed eyes.
Forget his touch, one that you miss so.
Forget all the times you shared.
Forget the feelings he made you feel.
Forget his words, all those promises still unkept.

Forget the past
Is what they say
But how do we forget what was already forgotten

Search inside yourself for love,
It has to start somewhere,
You have to love yourself before,
Others even start to care.

I learned the hard way,
I suffered alone,
Body Dysmorphia,
As it is better known.

I went insane first of course,
I couldn't look at myself,
I hated everything i was,
At risk of being left on the shelf.

People would say,
Surely it's not that bad,
But what do they know,
I was way past sad.

I decided to take it,
One step at a time,
I decided to change,
I started the climb.

Out of the dark,
No longer alone,
Working through my fears,
With my husband at home.