you tried to break me,
but you're too late.
i'm already broken.

She promised she would stay,
But she left me alone with him.
I pleaded with my eyes,
"Don't go."

I don't know why she thought she was doing something good, but she giggled a "be good you two," with a wink.

I wanted to die in that moment.
It was almost as if I knew what was going to happen.
It was already over between he and I.
I had already established that I didn't want anything to do with him.
But he wanted to "talk" because he needed "closure" or some ****.

"Could you come in the backseat, please?"
Even though his words spilled out like syrup, I knew nothing that would come next would be close to sweet.
I did what I was told.
Stupid me. Why was I so afraid of him being mad at me?!

I closed my eyes as he pressed his wet mouth onto mine.
I wanted to cry. I wanted to punch him.
My clothes end up on the floor even though I fought to keep them on.
I gave up.
I lay there on my side, facing the car seat I should've stayed in.

I asked him to stop.
I asked him to put his pants back on.
I told him to stop as I scrambled for my clothes,

He shouted: "****!"
He slammed the door closed as I ran away and he punched something.

Tears ran down my face as I passed her.
"How'd it go?" She asked in a sing-song voice.
God, I wanted to hit her so hard.
I wish I told her to go **** herself.

Because she said she was gonna stay with me. I was stupid to believe her this time...
But she promised.

I love you.
I love the way the morning air feels inside my lungs and how cool the breeze is.
Morning air smells like a new start.

I love you.
I love the way water tastes after a long day on the beach. It's like drinking life after the sun demanded to hold whatever you could offer him without keeling over.

I love you.
I love the way the sky makes me feel. It reminds me that I am beautiful and something amazing. How blessed am I to witness something so vast and grand as the sky?!
I want to be everything the sky is.
But I cannot.

I can love you.
So I will and I will keep loving you.
I won't close any window in your life to try and perserve a sense of morning air.
Because the sun will only rise higher in your life, and I will have to choose to either be your water or to demand more from you than you are able to give.
And even if you stop loving me, I will show you a love as vast and as grand
as the sky.

I love you.
"I love you."

Remember that I was the one from day one.
Maybe not in a romantic way, but
In a way that made you feel something.

What if I was just an idea, or
Some sort of daydream you tried to make real?
It's okay.
However I am not a daydream.
There's nothing poetic about me.

I am uncertain of where I am, and
I walk like my steps are secrets; on my toes.
Although don't get that confused with "lost".
I may not be trustful of the dirt I am in, but
I know where I'm going. Just like how
I may not know the exact coordinates of
A helium balloon, however,
I do know that it can only go up.

So, my dear, as you spend your time with her and
As you write about how she will leave you eventually,
Remember that people can bring comfort but
They are not medicine.
She cannot give you back anything that was taken away from you.
So that piece that I have?
You can't get it back.

She is not the answer, or the problem, or the reason.
She is a human with feelings, and as you wonder why she can't
Understand you...
Consider that there may be parts of her that are no longer there, too.

She is not your miracle, or your dream, or your most desired wish.
She is a girl. A human being.

Remember this, because
This is what you forgot when you held me.