I bought a lot of lamps,
Rubbing them until a genie comes.
I bought a carpet,
Hoping it will fly away,
And bring me to Aladin.
But, nothing happens.
Its just me and the bugs that keeps biting me.
Well, at least this little creature,
Finds home while I'm in despair.

I love the sea,
The waves as it hits the sand,
The calming effect of the blue waters.
The salty taste.

Then, I realize.
It taste like our tears.
Salty.

Is it because creatures live there
Also cry?

Tired.
I’m getting tired for shallow reasons.
Feels like the soil has tentacles
And it’s pulling me down.
Beneath the cold ground.

Bury me.
Bury my entire body.
Let it numb.
Let my soul be eaten by eternal darkness.

No, don’t save me.
I want to be there.
Lifeless body.
Souless.
Numb.

Let no light in.
It stings when it hits me.
Don’t touch me.
Your warmth will make me alive.

Let my skin be cold as the snow.
Let my lips turn to pale blue.
Let my eyes turn white.
Let my body devour every last drop of my blood.

Remembered my dreams
When I wake up.

But all I know
I was terrified
When my eyes opened.

Sometimes,
I want to keep my eyes open.
Not wanting to blink a second.
For I might fall in a deep slumber.

I guess,
When my eyes are closed
My soul is drifting
In a world unknown to all.

Tick tock! Tick tock!
"It's 12 midnight" said the clock.
My time is up,
I need to go back.

Am I cinderella?
Wearing a beautiful gown and a glass shoe.
Running out of time to be with you.

You who is holding my hands right now.
Staring at me like I'm your world.
How can I leave you behind?


Love, this is love.
Fading away slowly like the stars at the night.
How can destiny be so unkind?
That even our love expires.
Hold me. Hold me close.
I want to be with yours forever.


Tick tock! Tick tock!
"It's 12 midnight" said the clock.
I need to say goodbye.

Can you give me one last kiss?
Our love maybe short, but my heart will always be yours.

I will look for you beyond the horizon.
Where the sun kisses the sea.
I'll shout your name,
Until you hear me again.


Love, this is love.
Fading away slowly like the stars at night.
How can destiny be so unkind?
That even our love expires.
Hold me. Hold me close.
I want to be with yours forever.


Remember, my love our paths will meet again.
So don't let go for this love will always win.
I love you. I love you.


Love, this is love.
Fading away slowly like the stars at night.
How can destiny be so unkind?
That even our love expires.
Hold me. Hold me close.
I want to be with yours forever.

Till we meet again.

Little by little,
You will find pieces of me
Scattered on our floor.
Bits of me that was shattered
And broken.

I am badly hurt.
Today, yesterday and the previous days.
You look at me with disgust,
Makes me wish I was never born.

I wanted to swap places with those
Other child of yours that died
Due to miscarriage.

Maybe they will be much better daugther than I am.
Maybe you won't hate their attitude.
Maybe you would care more about them, than me.

I was your least favorite.
I was at the bottom.
I knew that since I was young.

You said I was strong.
You said I am intimidating.
Yes I am.
Cause I don't have any shoulders to lean on when I need to cry.

I make myself strong on the outside
For people not to know how much I struggle inside.

But, I'm slowly dying.
Little by little.

I adore you,

For seeing the Light,

In the infinite darkness of your world.

When the mouth disconnected with the heart blades are form on the end of the tongue.
The sharpness that knows no bounderies creating wounds that are hard to heal.
The mouth doesn’t realize that the heart is missing.
And the heart was muted from the world.
Late at night, when the workd turns dark and  the mouth closed
The heart will speak.
Voiceless but can be heard.
The vessel  felt a deep pang of pain in the heart.
Blaming the mouth for the blades it created.
Regrets will flood.
Tears will fall.
The vessel wanted to shut the mouth forever.
Thinking of a way, the vessel locked herself in a room with no one except her.
She told both the mouth and the vessel her plan.
To avoid the blades from hurting people she loves,
The vessel decided to create a distance.
An unseen distance.
This makes the heart sad, but the vessel cannot think of any other way.
The home she created is being destroyed by her own mouth.
She was scared.
She was hopeless.
She cried.
Wanted to call for help.
But the wound was to deep.
That not even she can bear it.
The vessel wanted to end everything.
She wanted to shut up forever.
Not wanting to lose anymore what she have now.
-END-

Keep your head down U-Know time (Max)
You know what time it is?
This is return of the king

(Everything has ended) I didn’t even start yet
(We broke up) I haven’t even heard the reason yet
Everyone around me keeps asking me why I’m like this
Why are you like that, why are you like that? I’m already the bad guy

(If it’s a sin) If loving you was a sin
(If that was a shin) If being genuine is a sin
(I’ll keep it low, I’ll keep it low) I’ll hold it in and stand my ground

(Keep your head down)
You look pretty, but inside you’re so different, that’s what I’m afraid of
(Keep your head down)
I said I loved you but I’ll let you go

(Why?) Did you leave me so easily
(Why?) Did I look easy to you?
(Why?) My heart is ripping to shreds
(Why?) If every moment was a dream
(Why?) If only I had the time to set it right
(Why?) I prayed for your happiness

I was always satisfied with having you
I was happy to dream the same dream as you no matter what they said
I had to let you go, but I’m just walking my path anyway
Now I’m just chillin’, Feel like I’m healing

It’s too late, you said you can’t come back
You’ve always believed that I’d crumble without you
That’s a misunderstanding, why would I do that? why, why, I told you I wouldn’t

(Hey) I was really, really sad, because you were so immature
and I was afraid you’d meet someone bad (Why? baby)

(Keep your head down)
You’re really pretty, but that’s all there is to you, there’s nothing important inside of you
(Keep your head down)
A nail is driven into the heart that is holding in the pain of love

(Why?) Why
(Why?) You let go of our love so easily
(Why?) Did you ever think that someone would get worried?
(Why?) I don’t think you know yet
(Why?) Exactly just what you let go of
(Why?) Just remain there and watch me grow

Ha~ Don’t play with people like that
In front of me, all you do is speak of lies
You’re such a two-faced person
(Why why why) Since when did our crystal-like feelings become so opaque?
Our love has ended, I’ve let you go, and now my heart is empty
But my future is gesturing towards me to get up and smile
I’m letting you go, live happily (why why why)
One day far from now, far from now, I want to just smile comfortably

(Why?) Why
(Why?) You let go of our love so easily
(Why?) Did you ever think that someone would get worried?
(Why?) I don’t think you know yet
(Why?) Exactly just what you let go of
(Why?) Just remain there and watch me grow

(Keep your head down)
Erased, disappeared, you’ve burned to death in my heart
(Keep your head down)
Erased, disappeared, you’ve died in my heart and you no longer exist

You were blinded by what you called Love.

A love that imprisoned you for years.
We thought you were finally free,
But you go back to the cage on your own will.

You accepted hate.
But you got angry when hate was thrown at her.
Saying I don’t understand what she is going through.
That she is in pain.

How about you?
Before you stand on her side,
Do you know how much hate you implanted on me?

Yes, I won’t ever understand her.
Nor I wanted too.
Because same as you,
You never understand how I felt.

She’s an evil *****.
Standing on her own shoes.
Hurting her for what she did.

Me, I’ll watch her bleed.
Cause she deserve for what she did.
I’ll sit here.
Wear my crown.
For I don’t need a king who treated me like a trash.

“Hello” I said to myself.
I was blank again.
She visited me again.
Who you say?
The blankness visited me.

She was like a wall.
A blackout.
I once caught myself staring at nowhere.
I can’t think, but I know I’m there.
I tried to talk but no words came out.
I fought it, but I was shut down.

Can anyone tell me who she is?

She visited me on days that I am alone.
Sometimes a minute, or an hour.
Everytime she is around,
I feel nothing.

The sun will not hurt my skin.
The noise will not make me deaf.
The rain won’t feel cold.

Is she my friend or my enemy?
I don’t know.
But when she is there,
I lost my senses.
I lost my dreams.
I lost my will.

It’s like I’m a bottle and she is sipping out my juices.
Little by little I became an empty vessel.

Can anyone tell me who she is?

She leaves without any warning.
And when she is gone, colors will burst.
The world will be so noisy again.
The wall will be gone.
I was like a child left in the middle of a parade.

What if we became a little honest?
Would it be different?

What if we tried to work it out?
Are we still together?

What if we never let go?
Can we be happy?

All those what ifs, will remain in the past.
All the answers will be left hanging.

You were my favorite.
My favorite "Good Morning" text.
My favorite on-the-go friend.
My favorite midnight thoughts.
Yes, you were.

I always think how my favorite "person", became my nightmare.

You are now a stranger in this vast world.
You are my "who are you?", in my contact book.
You are a dream I never wanted to see.

But still.
I still think of you.

We silently intertwined our hands,
You from the south,
I'm from the north.

It's summer when we meet.
Were dasies sways with the wind.
You are me.
And I am you.

But, when winter came
You left like a blizzard.
All is left is nothingness.
Colors fade and turn to white.

I can taste the bitterness
At the end of my tongue.

A pang of sadness
Suddenly hits me.

I feel my heart
Cringe in pain.

Not a feeling of lost love
But a feeling of losing myself.

In a process of changing myself
From someone who is desirable.

I turned into someone who is unwanted.

Every path feels like
I'm walking in thorns.

I was unwanted from the start
In a place I should never be.

My hands are clean,
But I was accused of stealing.
I was left alone,
But I was judge of getting what is not mine.


Am I the suspect now?
When on the first place,
I was the victim.

How could the suspect now
Be the one who is the victim.
And me, as the convicted.

You said it was yours on the first place.
It was also mine when you left it to rot.
I tried to fix it.
Slowly, gently.
Until it shines again.

When you see the beauty again.
You ripped from my hands.
Claiming it was yours
And I;  Stolen it away from you.

I’m the suspect.
The accused.
The convicted.

The real suspect now walked down the road.
With banner on her head saying
She was the victim.

A victim.
A victim with a rotten smile.
Pretending to be nice
When deep inside
Lurks the devil.

Take it.
Take it all.
Leave nothing to me.
Let it rot again in your hands
Until it dims again.

I think one of the most painful thing
Is to see the person you love,
Falling in love with someone else.
And all you can do is cry yourself to sleep.

Shake, shake, my heart is shaking
Uh-oh what is with feeling?
Shake, shake, my heart is pounding
I don’t understand a thing.

That night I waited for you outside.
My heart is shaking.
Slowly, you came to me.
In your wheels, you smiled at me.

Shake, shake, my heart is shaking.
I was excited to see you.
My friend and my brother.
But, no no no.
Why am I shaking?

Gently, you put the helmet on my head.
As if I’m a child who doesn’t know a thing.
I sat behind your back,
Hold at your shoulders.

Shake, shake, my heart is shaking.
As you start the motor,
Wind to our faces.
I smiled. I smiled again after all the pain.

Shake, shake, my heart is shaking.
As you hold my hand to help me go down,
I saw not just my friend, but a man.
A man who I respect and a brother who I treasure.

Shake, shake, my heart is shaking.

When I saw you
I feel cold all over my body.

Your smile was like a gift from the angels to me.
I wanted to touch you but I was blinded by your presence.

I’ve waited for 9years
To see you in flesh.

Those seconds that I was able to stand in front of you,
Feels like eternity.

I don’t know how,
But every bits of you
I love it.

You are the imperfect perfect.

How I wish you can be mine.
But, that is too much.
Even if I pray over thousands of falling stars,
I know it is impossible.

But still, I wish that here in my heart that day will forever stay.

Vulnerable to sadness.

To doubt someone’s intentions
Of kindness.

Turn love into hatred.

It makes as hard and stiff
From people around us.

It isolates us from the reality
We blocked with our walls.

But pain also makes us stronger.

To love more ourself than others.

To see true intentions of someone beyond their smiles.

To love people around us deeper
Because we know the pain.

Pain is a weakness and strength in one weapon.

You can yield it as a sword
Or hold it like a shield.
It’s battle only you can decide on how you will win.

To love more or to be eaten by hate.

You know what this
World taught me?

No one in this world is consistent.
Today they like you,
Tomorrow you will be nothing to them.

In this vast world,
Loyalty is so rare that finding
A gem in a dessert
Is much easier.

You see,
we made promises to compromise
Our mistakes.

But in the end,
we are prisoners in  each others  words,
Full of lies and pretentions.

This time my intentions are pure.
This time my feelings are true.
This time my heart is sure.

But, this time you're not here anymore.

Alchohol taste right
When your heart is suffering.
It’s like dabbing it directly to the wound
And would sting like hell.

I assume that the more I consume
The happier I get.

It’s like a bizzare love triangle
Between me, reality and alchohol.
Pulling me in.
Until my world becomes blurry.

There’s no escape.
Nor I wanted to leave.
It was a dream
Where the whole world is happy.

A temporary bliss.
From the struggling reality
I don’t want to face

I have thousands of regrets
In my twenty six years of living.

I’ve got thousands of words
I cannot utter in public.

I have thousands of emotions
I cannot contain inside me anymore.

Thousands and thousands of them
That I cannot count anymore .

An old man sleeping on a bed.
Machines work side by side.
I can feel his soul drifting out.
He seem so fragile.
Every touch may **** him anytime.

I want to touch him,
But I can’t.

He was once a strong man.
He smells like cigarette in a summer breeze.
His back is like a mirror of his hardwork.
His feet full of scars but strong enough to walk any fields.
His hands are rough.
But his heart is soft.


He kissed me on the forehead.
Lifted me when I cry.
Sweets come out of his pocket when I am sad.

Now he’s lying there like a lifeless man.
Are you following your wife?
I wanted to ask.


I pray he would stay.
A little bit more.
I pray.

How many chances should you give someone?
Once? Twice? Or a lifetime?

Every chances you gave,
A part of you fade away.

Can you still be you with the missing pieces?

Now I ask again, how many chances should you give?
Once? Twice? Or a life time?

Every chances you gave,
You expose yourself to pain.

Can you still manage to get your pieces back after?

Now I ask you again, is it worth giving another chance?

Have you ever felt so alone  that even the stars above the sky hides behind the clouds?

Have you ever wonder where you should belong when  you are home but your heart is lost?

Have you ever asked why they can’t hear you when you never stop speaking?

Dear, look at me.
Now, look into the mirror.

Do you love that reflection in front of you?
If not,  then I tell you this.
Above anyone else,
You should love that person in front of you.

Every scar.
Every bits.
Every pain.

Love all of them.
When you started to love yourself,
Everything will fall into places.

And now I'm stuck
Which way? Left or right?
And since I can't decide
I am dropping them all, leaving nothing behind

Once a man quoted this lines.
At first I felt sad about it.
A forgotten being.

But then, one day I realized every
Bits of that lines shouted lies.
He’s not stuck.
Nor he doesn’t know the way.

He already decided and left with something in his hand.
The sadness I felt turn to hate.
No lies will stay forever hidden.
Nor truth will keep quiet all the time.

Now armed with what I know.
I therefore take my flight.
Leaving and not looking behind.
For this man deserves nothing
But be buried in his past.