I'm afraid
Of
Eyes
Seeing me for
Who I truly am
That "they" might
Hate me
Because
I'm different.

I'm afraid
Of
Ears
That "they" might
Hear what I have to say
But
No one will want to
Listen

I'm afraid of
Hands
That "they" might
Make a fist or
Worst
Point a finger at me and
Single me
Out

I'm afraid
Of
You
The public is
Dangerous and
THEY have no time
To care about
My opinion
Only
"Theirs"

The eye of the divine
Inhabits every and all
Your suffering is not unseen

Find solace where you stand
As in virtue and in sin
You are loved

as summer fades away so does love,
the heat wave of romance
escapes into frozen bright air
floating up into the clouds until it splashes
back down again and knocks
on your bedroom window
begging to be let back in.

Stop! PLEASE stop saying "don't."
"Don't give up."
"Don't be afraid to ask for help."
"Don't be sad."
"Don't keep it bottled up inside."
I could go on and on.
"Don't be scared."
God, I hate that one the most.
Like, why the hell shouldn't I be scared?
Look at everything that's happening.
Look, I know you mean well,
But when you say that word,
It feels like you're trying to control me.
And I already feel
                                  So
                           ­        Out
                                      Of
                    ­                     Control.
I know you want to help.
And it means a lot to know you'll be there if I need help.
But I need to do this on my own.

New gravel pathway,
Softened by rain drops, etched
By flowing water.

The wolf in my shadow
Is named Melancholy
His tail hangs low
And his jaws hang wide

He weight lies on me
Until I can’t breathe
His fur has no warmth
And his eyes are mine

After twenty-one years
I have finally learned
That my heart
Does not have to be left as a gift
On the doorstep of another
And I can leave that special gift
At my own front door



8/13/2020