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  Nov 2018 χαρμολύπη
Annabelle
I can feel myself drowning when I'm with you
but tonight,
I would rather drown
in the oceans of my blood
unravel my thoughts,
like a bunch of necklaces tangled together.
unscramble my words,
like a puzzle.
decode the meanings behind my Instagram captions,
to try to understand my ways.
theater class brought me to write this, haven't been in the best state of mind and the whole class i was playing with a small piece of paper.
i must be losing my mind
the void that's slowly engulfing me
is getting bigger.
the darkness that's threatening to rip all in sight
is only growing with every one i meet.
my sanity shrinking.
thoughts directing my tunnel vision
to a path of violence.

****** knuckles
bruised limbs
bashed skulls

i think i'm in too deep,
so i'll just settle.
these are the kinda thoughts ive been having. this isn't even poetry anymore but i need an outlet to share
everytime i close my eyes i feel you leave me for her
all over again.
years back we were defined by the color of our skin

we thought it ended with all the martyrs who died for a better world

millions think the very earth we are destroying is utopia

everything filtered by a sole lens

only showing what they want us to see

when millions die simply to end up as a statistic

names?

faces?

no.

numbers.
lost in the in between
lost in your eyes
lost between my head and my heart

my head tells me go
my hearts tells me stay
but its not that cliche

i feel trapped in the guilt that follows me everywhere

every conversation lingering in my head
hours on end
thinking how i can end it

how can i tell you
without thinking about the endless ways
that you can end your life

separately
we are perfect
together
we are toxic
a viscous eruption of anger and spite
distance is our enemy and our friend
"im sorry, baby. forgive me."
and my naive brain always forgives

but im lost in the in between
until the day
i found my way out of the maze
and found myself.
glad i dont have this toxicity anymore. it was becoming unbearable
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