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Where does one go
when there is no new show?
A lack of an act
in which to invest in your time
Eats your soul away
with the loss of every silver dime.
I have the fight left to fight the "life's thieves"
You feel punch drunk
like a fighter fighting just to stay in one click of a moment
of joy and fellowship.
Here it goes..let's get this slug fest over
and let me be free to have freedom of movement...
Into life's light and partnership.
Lying in this cage.
Lost on closed off ways
in which to succeed and to thrive
I fall into myself and do a head dive
Inside the depths of sadness
madness
No one seems to have the time or investment to place in you
you have talents
but when you cannot prove them
you start to fade empty too.
How do I escape this debt and pain of the lack of people?
How do I prove myself as I do try so very hard
as I still feel chained like a car inside an impound yard
you have the strength of hope and grab ******* strength
trying to pull yourself out of hell by light's rope.
Send me a signal
and I'll work hard to repay you
Leave me to rot..to fester..to fear another tick of the clock
and you have sat back to watch a good soul
waste away
as your failure to aid in his darkest hours
take on his sanity..a heavy toll.
I shall live, forever.
My spirit has touched and warmed , many.
Hearts connect across the world.
Warmth of connected souls shall separate, never.
I once was blind..wearing the dark glasses of addiction
with despair and the rush of dodging oblivion.
I broke out of this shell. A clear mind. Sober.
By his own design and need.
The shell broke easily to see the inner beauty.
The need to obsess over money and missed obscenities..the moments I ruined became a mixed drink adding to my "depressaholism."
He shines, even brighter. As he is now more "real."
Intoxicated by the future and the bright opportunity
of world and ,with me, it's unity.
I am proud to have "woken up"
and "place asside the need for too much materialistic hunting"
The need for a "count of hearts I grew into fans"
Superficial ego grew into Mr.Hyde.
As I write this, tonight, with all my energy and truth.
I've found, through open eyes and seeing the true future and it's brighter ways.
I have found my Fountain of Youth.
My mind becomes cluttered.
Since I was a kid.. the simplest of thoughts add on  top of one another.

even though there is a big lack of stimulus
Like a television with one hundred channels demanding "A  view"
the "medical clicker" is lost and your brain seem's "too full to align with clearing itself back to  complicity..".
You are full in the head..newer ideas are next to impossible
temperament becomes askew
The "treatment" is "stimulus"
the doctors mistake such as "mania"
Since a hyperactive child never grows..the energies never cease, as well.
Blind eyes, who fail to "look outside an unorganized box of practioner's recycled thoughts,"
could ever help (neither the victim nor the prescribe)
to place on the right pair of glasses
Such failed views .. clarity.. shall never be  something that  they "see" in order "to grow" or are willing to "grow with" refusing newer education and treatment grounds  
An open page of a "still unfinished book"
Such meanings
which all who need to be "open eyed" enough to be able to show them in order "for  them to ever  know"
To teach the afflicted
"How to channel the energies and the focus"
as you mind's eyes are "in need of glasses"
Give the wrong treatment
and the medicine can burn out clearer views
than the regimens he's tried and deemed "the only one"
Not one size fits all
Look to the old, however, might be a mix with the new?
"Not every remedy is addictive or harmful"
"nor does one pair of glasses clear the visions of all.."

just as these so called "experts say"
to " save your life is the quota"
not "how many cases in which the practitioners have half-way  saved.. walking on egg-shells..to save  their own careers"
(Shells)


It makes another successful life
from a once cluttered mind
to loyalty and honor of the one who had helped him
Such a a once lost patient does keep in his now "clearer mind."
Who cared more for the advancement and quality of life of the one who asked for his "helpful hands"
Not "Magic hands"
"openness" is always the "better mixture" of "pills and therapy"
The vision cure that always seems to be the math equation that leads to successful medical group and their great sounding cliche and "medical change and reprimands."
Not afraid in sticking up for the betterment of their one client
then such additions of success become an army
of the "grown children"
with the right "pair of glasses"
that see more than just a "glass" half full, however, "the world."

Now, this bright and more colorfully lit world will shed light to those left "in the blurred dark"
as the once lost were found and the found shall become part in healing
those professionals who chase "selective cases" like "hungry sharks."
This long poetic entry is in support of those with Adult or Childhood Adhd and have received the wrong treatment. Until the right and trustful treatment regimens and practitioner was found.
  Adhd is hell. A lot of doctors protect themselves, instead of who they are fighting for. I know that with the right treatment (older medication  and therapy" or newer medications and treatment" A doctor must be open to even invent a treatment process, that can help, rather be routine and destructive.
Days of empty stomachs...
Years to empty a once fuller soul...
It grows to a head
The aftermath of  the blow...
The question of blame comes..
Nobody playing the game...
Ever tried to stop and see
the hell, flames, and destruction
That was the life they left for me.
What are you today?
You look into the mirror every morning....
You wonder what and to where you belong
You are forced to beg to get something to eat...
Beg to have what you need...
A humiliating record playing on a skip repeat
You are not a scale that stops to measure
who has what,where, or how better
It's this path that seems to never stop.
Can you see yourself having to live this way?
I don't seem to know.
I am almost always left..there..
stripped to the bone...alone..
Building energies up with what little that I have to work with..
Why don't you walk this hellish road with me..
As beside me...it feels..
just a little more better than while walking such, alone...
And be someone who witness a soul that longs to be free.
I shall fight to succeed...
A warming to those who seem to hold me back....
The is the promise... I shall proceed.
I have "done things your way"
For to long...
In the shadows... I have an iron will...
I have been studying you... to find this way...
To press onward......still..
Through your "smoke and mirrors.."
You thought you had me trapped in fear....
The "war inside of me..."
That such caused?
Why take such credit?
It shall be you that will see
see me clear
That I shall keep my passions.....
A better life "dream?"
Such will never die.....
"Keep this fashion"
Not in clothing....  such in soul...
After keeping me "under your control"
I shall rise up... at the last moment...
Take down your "magic show.."
and take self control
Of my life...
which shall soon be worth a fortune..
Stay with me? By My side?"
Or stay behind me,now, through your overwhelming blind pride.
Prisoner of debt
Inmate with ghosts
Talking aloud from  boredom
Only for myself to be his guest.
A lost bet
Days added.
Where is my payroll?
So I can seek out my best of days?
Smothered by stale air
Choking from lack of assets
I am the actor in this play
Trust seems to always be the factor.
It's all an insane glee
as you hear those "paid back"
Sing to "win back"
Their empty days.
Honor spent to agree to this sentence
After years of such
I need this intermission
To enjoy it's fruits at the snack bar
It's all cheers to this "system"
"Hail To the pay-or."
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