With ebb and flow, colorful beauty fills the infinite... above and within.
These beautiful shells we fill dispersed all along this beach of life until it's our time to be one physical entity with the sea and stars once more.
The salt of the sea mixed with the warmth of the sun, the breeze to clear it all away.
Life's a beach and then we return to the sky.
Chin up to mother moon. Feet firm to Mother Earth. Heart open to your brothers and sisters.
Ebb and flow, with the infinite abyss within and all around.

Standing at the bridge I saw a beautiful woman dressed in black gracefully walk
Past me- her energy locked me in... I knew with her was where I was meant to be.

Excuse me my lady, are you ok? Oh well, no- I must be on my way... my name is Diana and I’ve been sent away from my love starting today.
I’m so sorry to hear, you seem pretty upset- it wasn’t working? Not the right time quite yet?
I’m willing to share being we are both here... I am not *****. I wasn’t enough, he says he needs to continue seeking and looking for more. She said this with sharp hurt off the tongue mixed with the sweet sad tears on her cheeks that have now begun.

Oh honey, I don’t know where to start- I know it’s hard living and moving forward when in your chest is a broken heart.
You know, know what is the hardest? The hardest thing at all? Things were so good and now it is this where all I can do is recall, the pain of what all past love in my life ... How before him I found myself in relationships full of pain and strife. You know, he is a good man which makes this harder, so desperately I wanted to be able to make this go farther.

I didn’t know if there was something I should say, her sharing was resonating and stirring things in me in a very prominent way. I stood observing what was happening at my core, a sense of empathy waves thru me like never before.

I feel you, deeply... in this moment I truly do. I feel and understand why you are so blue. Love can be hard, especially when it goes south- you just have to remember forever just isn’t always in the cards.

She nodded softly while letting the tears flow.... i wasn’t ready to let this one go. You wouldn’t know it with the way I acted before- fully aware my actions before surrendering to the fear in my heart led me through to this door.

What do you mean? I couldn’t help but respond... she sighed picked up her bag and said walk with me- it’s time i start moving along.

We walked together along the cobble stone path, sharing with me this journey from the state of the past. You see, this man I cry about to you, not very long ago at all he was nothing like this today. He adored me and wanted to give his undivided love. But from my conditioning and fear- I listened to a nasty entity from above. The rebellious **** of fear, who pushes away all the things that are dear and warm and full of light... i know you know, I pushed him away with all my might.

Her comment of knowing confused me a bit, but I didn’t want to disrupt her outpour of what was now an emotional fit.

So I pushed and walked away- didn’t take long at all to realize that where I wanted to be was this place we connected today. He took me in and oh I was filled with joy. So blessed I am! How blessed I am to be in love with this boy! So we danced, we loved, and the free fall felt so good... that was until I learned he learned some things during that time he thought that I should.

He no longer adores me the way that I knew... he was opening his doors to any connection that grew.

I stood feeling her pain- feelings of pain rippled my body... why did I feel her so deeply?

She looked me in the eyes and said “I tried to make it work, but I couldn’t let him keep me”. She dropped to the ground her items scattering and sobbed for a while- I stood crying too and then put her belongings into a pile.

True love never goes away, and maybe you’ll get back together some other day. I said this not sure if it was the right thing to do... she laughed lightly a little bit and said “oh my love, that’s very sweet of you. I don’t know if i will ever look back.. the site of all of this and him just instantly makes my heart crack. You know what is the hardest part of all? She shook her head and said, I’m standing here today on my own call. He didn’t make me leave, he wanted to love me how he can.

But my love, it’s not the kind of love you want and need right now from a man. With hearing this truth, she settled in defeat. Walking closer said I knew you would get it, after all... you are me.

Taken a back I said do you care to explain? For the first time a true laughter came out “you don’t recognize this terrain? Oh My darling, hmm okay, how do I start. So I am simply a reflection of you and your heart. We are here today to help you be okay with saying it’s time to part.

What the hell? What do you mean... why do you think you have felt a whole knew level of empathy? I stood knees locked, trying to figure this out- i then had the emotions come up and connected the pieces of what it was all about.

Mirror mirror on the wall, who’s the saddest girl of them all? She said sweet but with a bit of a salty undertone. With this clarity a rush of resentment had quickly grown. So you mean your tale is really mine... my gorgeous gal, I’ve been sent here from the divine.

You needed to see and you wouldn’t get out of the way- since you’re so very loved I was sent here today. You needed to see the scene from an outsiders view...my love, my beautiful love... this situation isn’t for you.

You can keep trying to bend and fit into this mold- but bending until you break isn’t making you bold. It’s taking you away from all the things that are in your heart. I know it hurts that you just let him in and were ready to start. But you had to learn some lessons here, sadly the hard way... but we will start healing together. Right now. Today.

I stood shocked, how could this be? The person I’ve been helping was a direct reflection of me. I began to cry lettingthe pain I was holding in go- now we were here I just let it flow.

I just fell in love, the first time in years really let my heart open up. Ah yes but not soon enough- you started the journey with a half full cup. Once it was full, you were ready to love- but he moved on following his own messages from up above. Lesson to be learned darling, when you find true good love you must seize it while it is here... recognize and bask in moment of life with someone you hold dear.

There will be more I can assure... and i will also tell you this next part of the journey will not always feel nice. But we all have hurt from love- we all pay the price.

But I didn’t have to. This was a new love that was so different from the rest... he was- even in all of this, he is still the best.
I know darling, remember, I am you... but you can’t stay in something that is consistently making you blue. But can’t I change and grow just like he? Perhaps, and we can try... but what if that’s not the way you are suppose to be?

You are relentlessly loyal... you love hard and deep. You still need to experience in the life time a partner where your in a healthy smitten love you can keep. You haven’t had that, and trust me- it’s beautiful and something you deserve. It’s going to be okay, on this path this is just another curve.

I want to go back. Let’s turn around right now. Now now now let’s not be silly let’s not have a cow. I want to go back! I shouted she stood back in awe, sigh, we did that once already- don’t you recall? Do you see how going back lead us here today? Another lesson to put in your bag... you can’t always have your way.

Now come on. We have more things to do and see. Why did that evil entity have to do this to me?

Because you are human and weakened yourself with doubt, junk, and fear- I don’t mean to be so blunt with you, but you need to hear all of this my dear. You let yourself stop loving your self as much as I know you do at the core- so reverting to old habits reverts you to scenarios you have lived out before.

So now come, we have new healthy things to create in our lives. Starting with dealing with how to put all of this behind.

I stood there in awe of the roles had reversed- the women now walking ahead, i stood still and under my breath cursed.

This was the reflection of all that was going on within... and as much as i am resisting- it’s time for a new chapter to begin.

I thrashed and thralled in the fear of love and it landed me on the cusp of this cliff kissing the edge of deep waters I am not sure I will be able to swim in.

A body of water where diving in makes me more uncomfortable than anything I have ever known - despite my hesitance, my partner? They jumped.

Now that they have dived, and are swimming and exploring... I am left uncomfortable and having to decide if this is a push for me to expand into that discomfort or if what I need is a relationship where it is only I that he is adoring.

Perhaps... I need to dance with reality -- that the dive and deep waters destablized us...which no longer nourishes me.

I stand along the cliff looking into the water - seeing my partner floating, glowing, enjoying the waves washing over him. Through him.

I want to jump- I want to dive in and be with it all.

But the cusp of the cliff has me linger on it's kiss once more.

With a sigh, I blow a kiss to the partner I know I will miss, and make my way to the car door.

Sitting amongst the hustle and bustle of the concrete jungle –
I find the calm within the center of it all. An inch of green for every mile of gray makes it all that much richer. One, two, three thousand, four… zipping and moving within their own world that is a part of this collective whole. Birds surrounding soaking in the breaths of life we have both found- hello my chirping beauties, so grateful to share this sacred ground.

Water hits the ground. You can hear a light tap, tap tap
Every last drop breaks and scatters as it hits.
It releases what is has been holding in.

Holding, holding, holding,

Until it has no choice but to let it all go
It cannot stop, must let it all go.

Go, go,go

Harder, harder, harder

Unable to maintain control anymore.
It begins to take over, cannot fight it anymore.

Go.Go.Go!

…   b   r   e   a   t   h   e.

There is no more to release.
Light again- Feel as light as nonexistence
So light and free, relaxing amongst a sky of blue.

Floating,
                      floating,
                                           floating

Curled by the fire looking out the window,
Breathing in the night and the magic it appears to hold.
I look at the tree basking in the beauty of its slow death,
Little spots of color appearing soon to be followed by the rest.
The hues of red and yellow continue to catch my eye-
Admired by every grateful person who happens to go by.
Autumn is beauty, her beauty stands above all the rest-
A beautiful reminder that everything in life is beautiful,
Even the process of death.

You fill me.
You run through my body.
When I think of you, you race through every inch of my body as if you embody vibrations of my favorite song.
It’s a feeling of its own that just comes naturally by simply existing.
Music makes me think of you all day.
Every day.

I love you like music, baby.

Reality.

There is yin and yang.
No beauty without ugly.
Must embrace the truth.

Let me tell you the tale of the man who walked away.
Where he is today, I really cannot say.
He was a very lucky man, yet he couldn't see
All his potential and who he was meant to be.
Lady Luck would visit - he'd turn his cheek the other way
Stuck in the past or present... he couldn't appreciate today.
He was loved by many, whom always extended a hand.
It was not due to pity, simply hope and love for this man.

One day he met Penny, a lovely beautiful soul
Who instantly went into the depths of what this man beholds.
She wanted him to see his light as easily as she
With experiences and conversations, she dreamed change would be.
Penny was preparing for a journey to spread love via song;
What a perfect thing for this man to tag along!
The man jumped in joy when she shared the idea with him
She thought to herself, Yipee! Let this incredible journey begin.

They climbed through the mountains, singing along the way
Moments of love, laughter, and joy happening every single day.
One day up the mountain, Penny spotted a dark cloud;
So quickly the mans mood turned and he began to scream out loud:
"This is awful! This journey can't go on! I refuse. I refuse. I REFUSE to sing another song!"
Penny stared at the man in shock and horror
she turned and said, "it is only a rain cloud, for sure it'll be gone tomorrow"
The man carried on making a scene; Penny found shelter and built a fire nonchalantly.
When the man grew tired from throwing his private show,
He stumbled into the cave and curled into a ball by the door.

The next day they rose, the man said nothing of the night before
When Penny made mention he shot a look that said his thoughts he would not pour.
Penny grew nervous, this was a side she had never known, but,
She knew the journey must go on;perhaps through that night .. He had grown.

Further on they journeyed into the open desert sun;
"No worries here" thought Penny... No clouds, no rain, just spread love and run.
The man asked for a cookie; Penny shared there were none.
The reaction made Penny thank god he didn't have a gun.
"What do you mean we don't have any!? How stupid could you be!?
To not know I would want one... Do you ever think of me!?"
The man began to sob, he fell to be floor and became a crying blob.
Penny was perplexed, she didn't know what to do.
"...it is only a sweet treat, why are you so blue!?"

This was enough to snap the man to his feet.
He wiped the tears, puffed out his chest...he wasn't ready for defeat.
"You know what Penny, you just don't understand.
You have no idea what it is like to be a traveling man.
No one gets me, and they never will.
Thanks for your time, I'm Also leaving you with the bill.
I know you have fed me, sheltered me too. You build a nice fire and kindly directed me on what to do.
But it is not enough, you don't get what I need.
So I'm gonna go...don't be like the last one and plead"

Penny stood blank with a punch to the heart.
She opened her mouth but didn't know where to start.
From the day she met him, all she did was love and help
And now here is this man screaming and crying a step away from a yelp
She watched him pack while being very emotional-
So many thoughts and feelings none of which could take their toll
He began to walk away from Penny, finally she found words to say
"Where are you going? It's just been a bad day!"
"You know what Penny, I don't care and to be honest, I never did.
From this point on, in your mind...write me off as dead".
With these words Penny could feel tears come to her eyes.
She couldn't understand this harsh and sudden goodbye.

The man continued walking, erasing his path along the way
He burnt all the bridges they had built together since that May.
Penny carried on singing songs of love;
The man continued walking; his soul never full, seeking more from up above.
You can ask her about the walking man,
She will share all the good about him that she can.
She doesn't know where he went, or what he went to see...
But she does hope his time was spent becoming who he is meant to be.

No one knows where the man who walks away is,
But we guess he is alone.
Since he walks away from those who help build a home.

the present of your presence is accepted.
your energy effortlessly blends in with mine.
two worlds, two people, in this moment are one.
a look has been exchanged - our eye contact intensifies the connection.
for that brief moment, i see only you and you only see me.
eye contact is broken.
you enter back into your world, i into mine.
as you continue on, i feel an energy that is mine once again.
the present of your presence is appreciated.