So incredibly bored
So incredibly lonely
No one cares
No one listens
No one wants to
No one wants you
So incredibly empty
So incredibly tired
When will I find it
This doesn't seem worth it
This seems to end in pain
Maybe all this searching is in vain
Want to cry
Want to die
Want to live
Want to find you..
Maybe you don't exist
Maybe my everything in my heart
is a myth...
-Iris Madden

It started as a puncture,
but the seam slowly ripped;
a thimble can't protect
from a poison needle tip.

She tried to mend it
by making more holes;
the tear only grew
and grew out of control.

At the spinning wheel
her life would quickly dwindle;
frantic attempts to hem
were depleting the spindle.

What started as a puncture
of seductive sedation
fueled the abuse
of machined perforation.

"Don't mourn a living corpse"
were the last words she said
as she drew the needle
that held the last thread.

I think I might know what it feels like to be adopted
You know where everything is in the kitchen and how to work the dishwasher
You walk the dog, you're a part of family movie night
You're accepted and loved
But some quiet part of you
Desperately asks to go home
Even though you know there is nowhere left to go

Is knowing when to end it

Set a watch on your emotions and lock the gate to your heart. Let no one pass the sentry of your feelings. Keep a close guard on yourself and forget the sorrow and pain you felt. Set up a wall and instill discipline into yourself. Purge your memory of what it is to love erase all semblance of compassion and forget where mercy lives. Move into another endeavor to occupy your time. Fill the void left by a the hopes and dreams that were dashed, with things that will not require you to feel. Stand watch on any chance at love and let no opportunity arise in which you might get hurt again.

Leave your love here
In the fold of my floral skirt
The lap
Where your head once rest.
Leave your heart there
In the cradle of my palm
That holds the wreckage of my own.
Leave your soul
Near,
As you leave me cold.

What I wouldn't give
to lay with you again.
To feel the push and pull of you
against my bends and bumps again;
and meet in soft and solid places,
your sweet urgency,
as it demands my perfect patience
with burning subtlety.

I long to know your length again
Along the length of me,
and measure quiet patterns
soft and slow and endlessly,
to feel the aching shivers
in the shallows of your spine,
where shaking palms just can't resist,
resting for a time.

Please breathe me in again,
and whisper truths about my body,
with your hands and with your hips,
as if I’m everything and nothing,
wilder than the limits of my skin.
A human Aphrodite,
simply lying there beside you
inhibitions slowly dying

But that is all we ever were
Two bodies close and buzzing
Lost in silent revelry
Of touching without falling.