I woke up in the middle of the night
It was a strange dream
My mom said or did something really mean
I wasn't having it
Although it was an arrow to my heart
what felt like would be a forever scar
So of course, I left
I was in my car but for some reason I was in the back seat
Something was watching me keeping me safe,
Nobody was driving but the car was still going
Like my time was no where near up yet
And then I knew I had to take responsibility,
work up all of the energy left inside of me and take the wheel
So reluctantly but courageously I am driving,
children are playing outside everywhere
At first parents are telling them to move out of the way
But after a certain point, they wouldn't budge for me
I had no choice but to turn around and go the other way
Frustrated, I felt I had nothing left inside of me
I tell my boyfriend who was suddenly there,
that I am trying but keep failing,
that I had finally became defeated and
that I understand if he wants to go on without me
For I have always forced on him "I know the way"
then he says " I don't want to love anyone else."
And I told him "I don't want to love anyone else either."
He was forever with me
Kayleen Amato Feb 18
Sometimes I wonder how we have made it this far
I care because you try
I see the effort you put in every day even if it's not for me
The invisible glue holding us together
On top of the fact that love isn't everything
If that isn't love than I don't know what is
Because life is everything and nothing
With you I feel free
To know that I can walk away but I have better things to do
I can be guilty of caring too much about anything and everything
Even when I skrew things up, you still accept me
And we persevere
Kayleen Amato Dec 2017
I stay up sometimes
Not because im not tired
But to break patterns
To protect my energy
To seperate myself of leeches
Disguised as everything
All of us have ever wanted
To keep me immune
To prevent myself from inhaling toxicity
Im willing to watch what happens next
Kayleen Amato Jul 2017
I dont think those painful black memories that live in ancient cracks are bad
They create a font of gothic print
Stamped on the only things in life you've ever loved
They are the hands that open the door for you every time
The ink from the words that drip
Your bones grow back and you become human again
And you have teeth to fight the monsters in your head
Kayleen Amato Jul 2017
I dont think those painful black memories that live in ancient cracks are bad
They create a font of gothic print
Stamped on the only things in life you've ever loved
They are the hands that open the door for you every time
Kayleen Amato Apr 2017
Years of loneliness held into one single moment
All once replaced with distractions
Instead, why can't I just matter?
All my fears gather together to face me and tell me to fight
I am stronger than ever under pressure
Maybe I just fear the unknown lands that wait for me up North
The flock of birds in the sky attempting to guide me
To my birth place where I can plant seeds
The sky has cleared up
Yet I wish I was free
But if I want to be something in this world
I can't just leave
And if I just up and left,
I'd expect you to come with me
What if you didn't come with me
Kayleen Amato Apr 2017
There is a girl
Who always looks like shes waiting
For something or someone
And still to this day,
I take a seat and watch for magic
Perhaps day without night
There has got to be something good
Any normal person would have left already
But the rain pouring down
Tells me she is not to blame
Tells me she has unfinished business
She still belongs to the garden
Giant shiny green plants with teeth
Devour her back into their wrath
Where she incubates
She must prove she is ready
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