I always fantasized
about being strong
a hero
a force to be reckoned with
someone that could hold their own.

But now
all i want
is to make it through the day.

Before I met you
I was afraid
To let anyone in

Before I met you
I felt safer
Alone

Before I met you
I felt
Dead.

Before I met you
I never thought
In my wildest dreams
That someone
Could make me
Feel so alive

Because now that I've met you
I want to let you in

Now that I've met you
I never feel alone

Now that I met you
I truly understand
What it means
To be alive

I don't know why
I didn't realize at first
I knew deep down
But it didn't hit me

I would run away
Change the subject
Anything
To stop myself
Anything
To protect myself

When you kissed me
I couldn't stop
I face planted

When I was 5
And scraped my knee
I thought nothing could hurt more

When I was 8
And teased on the playground
I thought nothing could hurt more

When I was 15
And heartbroken
I thought nothing could hurt more

When I was 18
And almost lost you
I thought nothing could hurt more

As I grow older
And as I'm hurt more
I wonder
Each time
If the worst will ever be behind me

When I was little
and innocent
I thought the world my friend
I thought it best to be kind
and curious
and soft

As I grew older
and sadder
I thought the world terrible
I thought it best to be cold
and distant
and hard

As I grow ever older
and hopefully wiser
I think the world neither bad
nor good
nor a mix in-between
just as it is
not worthy of kindness
not deserving of cruelty.

Close
is never
close enough
for me.

I want you
on every inch of my skin
no part of me
that exists
without you

I want your arms
around me
as tight as possible

I don't care
if i can't breathe

Like ice
I was cold
Solid
Impenetrable

But you
Were so
Warm

You melted me

But when you left
I was
empty
And couldn't be filled