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Katherine Laslie Jun 2016
When you hit
A certain point of depression,
Your body starts to decieve you
Telling your mind
That you're already dead...

Your body stops aching
You mind slowly erasing
Of all the cares
And all the worries
That you and this life share

And you stop living
Because inside you are dead
And you don't even try to be
To beg for attention
You're just tired
of how no one will listen
So you shut down

There is no breaking point
No trigger for anger
No full-fledged smiles
Because you feel Neither
Pain, no regret
There isn't even a soul
Inside your chest

An empty vessel
Feels no pity
No happiness or agony
You go through life
As if you aren't there
Watching everyone else
Living the sort of life
You left behind
All while feeling
Nothing inside
Katherine Laslie May 2016
A thought
Crossed my mind today
And was nearly
Transferred to action
As I nearly cut my arm
Wide open
To end my sad existence
Once and for all

So many reasons
I have not to care anymore
So many twists and turns
I've endured
And all this time
All this pain
Has remained enclosed within me

I have no drive
Anymore
No reason to survive
Anymore
And even more than that
I don't feel alive
Anymore
Therefore, if there is a point
To life
I'm not seeing it

Not like I used to

And my hopes are washing away
Flooding so quickly
Down the drain
And my blood falls
And leaves a stain
I become but a portrait
Left in your brain

There is nothing left of me
I have no right
No reason to breathe

And although I'm gone
I still believe
That maybe there is still
Something left of me

I'm tired of being
Treated low
I'm tired of the verbal blows
I'm tired of running away
And I'm am especially tired
of living this way
Katherine Laslie May 2016
Purity
Is impossible to obtain
In a world so corrupt
It's hard to explain
All the deception
In this world
How we treat others
Is the worst

How can something
Be so pure, when it's
Surrounded by putrid
And vile things?
How can something
Remain as white
As a fresh sheet of snow
In January?

In the 21st century
Everyone is sick
And I am sick
Of living in it
Surrounded by sin
And chaos
There's no escape
No way to stay
Pure

Even innocence
Is tainted by the
Ways of today

It's hard to keep
Composure

And even harder to find
Closure

Nothing is innocent
Anymore
Katherine Laslie May 2016
Is this me
Rushing into things?

Am I trying
To get ahead of myself?

Or is it me
Trying my best to be thriving?




When I'm barely surviving
Katherine Laslie Apr 2016
I will not
Roll over and die
And I'm tired
Of being a burden

Before
I was concerned
About my safety
Concerned about
My life

But now
I've pushed those
Fears aside
I will not be a burden
I don't care
The cost

I will not let
My family
Receive all the loss
All the money
It would take- all the money
In the world
Couldn't fix my problem
If there is still no solution

I won't put them
Into debt
Over my false hope

I won't forget
The things they said
And I will learn
My best to cope

I am a burden
And I walk with
These chains
But I will stitch
My lips closed
And bear with the pain

Should I stand
Or should I fall
In the end
Doesn't matter
At all

Because if I
Become a burden
To anyone around me
I would lose my sense
Of reality
I'd lose my chance
For living

I'm done pretending
Katherine Laslie Apr 2016
I'm torn between
What's real
Or not

Trying to make sense of
What's right
Or wrong

I know now
That I will never
Belong

But these things that I'm feeling-
These feelings are strong

So many things
I wish to do

Everyone of them
Involving you

But I can't seem to find
Any sense in my mind

So I brush it off
As if it's some lie

I cannot cope
with these things in my head

I cannot stay like this
With not a clue

I cannot live
Without you

I can't bear
These thoughts

Thoughts coax me to leave

To end this life
To finally be free

There's so many things
That race through my head

So many thoughts
That I can't catch
As they pass

So many feelings
I wish wouldn't last

So I will take this knife
And run it through my chest

To silence these thoughts
Forever, silence in my head
Katherine Laslie Apr 2016
I'm done
I give up
Whatever happens
Happens
And it's tough

Let nature
Take its course
With me
Let life
Have its way
With me

If I fall
I fall
I will not
Get up

I'll crawl
Inside the dirt
Because that is my
Self worth

I'll ignore
My ailments
And let them
Catch up to me
As nature
And life
Take their toll
On me

My body
My flesh
Will decay
And turn
To dust
And I'll just
Sit there
and rust
Because I've been pushed
Across my line
The line on if I choose
Between death and life
The thing that makes me know
Wrong from right

I'll throw it all away
In time
Like a game,
I will wait
for it to catch up
To me

And when it does
I'll greet fate
With a grin
And let it take
My soul and sin
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