I keep trying to convince myself
there's no way for me to love you.
I dont love you.
I can't love you.
I should not love you.
"Friendship" is the magic word
that should always be a border between us.
But the love keeps knocking at my door,
and brings  the truth which cannot be denied;
that I want you in every aspect of my life,
even though this love
will only be a fire with nowhere to go.

(And deep in my heart,
I can feel that you have the same war:
convincing yourself for not loving me)

Kanya Puspokusumo, 2016
http://doeniadevi.wordpress.com

I want to write a poem about you...
Expressing my inner thoughts and feelings
in the most romantic way.
Telling all dreams and desires
in a way that can burn every heart with love.
So, everyone can see that our love
is so deep and real.

But sometimes love lost its words...
It can only speak in the language
that is understood by no one
but two hearts in silence.."

Kanya Puspokusumo, 2016
http://doeniadevi.wordpress.com

Sitting silently,
Legs crossed,
Breathe in,
Breathe out,
Pushing away all negativity,
Letting in the pure energy,
Healing all the wounds,
Hoping for the peace to come,
And people call it meditation.

But meditation is much more than that.
It is about our thoughts wandering far and beyond,
only to find that everywhere is actually nowhere,
but you know it is there.
It is about the heart swimming on the sea of wisdom,
only to find that even darkness speaks of light.
It is about us walking in the empty sky,
only to find that in emptiness we are perfectly full.
It is about the soul dancing in the universe,
only to find that the universe is actually a nothingness,
but in nothingness, it completely exists.
And once you completed the journey,
it will ease all wounds and pain,
cover you with a blanket of peacefulness,
and shower you with happiness and tranquility.

And meditation doesn't attach to any religions.
It is just the way and path of us revealing and accepting the truth of ourselves,
and growing true love, unconditionally.

December 31st, 2019

KANYA PUSPOKUSUMO
http://doeniadevi.wordpress.com/

In this winter,
I would like to be a child again
Playing snowballs,
Making a snowman,
Walking through the winter trees,
And creating footsteps
on the sea of white...
.
It would be wonderful
to be a child again,
When the scene of white sea
falls in my heart for the first time,
And warm me like the summer sun.
(Kanya Puspokusumo, 2019)
.
Ganghwa-gun, Incheon
South Korea

I am always fascinated with the sky,
Because I believe all words that can't be said,
Were written in the sky.
I believe the true love that can't be expressed,
Were painted as the twinkle stars.

I'm fascinated with the sky,
Because my dad is now up there,
Typing all wise words in the blue sky,
And painting all the lovely stars at night.  
He is the sun and my favorite constellation,
That shining my life every day and night.  
He is the perfect love and wisdom,
That guiding my soul throughout this life.

So, when people asked me
Why I am always fascinated with the sky...
I will simply tell them,
Because I know I can write there
Anything that can't be said,
Painting the lovely stars
For true love that can't be expressed,
And giving the perfect love and wisdom
To my son unconditionally,
Shining his life every day and night,
And guide his soul endlessly,
As my dad does them for me...

-KANYA PUSPOKUSUMO, 2019-

I want to erase myself,
Like the winter erases itself
to become spring.
.
I want to erase myself,
Like autumn leaves erases themselves
to let the new leaves grow.
.
I want to erase myself,
Like dew erases itself
to become cloud.
.
I want to erase myself,
Like the cloud erases itself
to let the blue sky smile at the earth.  
.
I want to erase myself,
Because that is how the universe works;
Erasing an existence
to create a new and better one.

-KANYA PUSPOKUSUMO, 2019-
Icheon, South Korea

[Received] 
I see you 'active' on the internet. 
Don't you sleep? 
. 
[Sent]
I can't sleep. 
It's a cold night. 
The mountain wind sent 
a loneliness message to my heart.
I feel so all alone... 
.
[Received]
Please don't... 
You are not alone. 
Nobody is alone.
Even when you stood alone 
under the dark night sky,
hasn’t the sky 
at least stood with you? 
.
[Received]
And remember, 
there's always a love
that stands somewhere
and always waits for you 
in the distance sky... 
.
[Received]
Saranghaeyo...
Neomu saranghae...
.
[Me]
Typing a reply...
.
Kanya Puspokusumo
January 19, 2019