Goodnight, my friend, I hope you sleep well,
I hope that tomorrow, doesn't put you through hell.
But if it does, then I want you to know,
that you're cared about no matter, where you go.
You amaze me more, than words can express,
and I'm sorry for the days, your life's full of stress.
But chin up my friend, tomorrow'll be good,
if we get what we deserve, then it really should.

The scary thing about
how time heals
is that I forgot
the only person I wanted to remember.
I force myself to be okay with that.
I started to lose

all the details about her, all the fights I knew I'd lose
before the arguments began, because I couldn't stand to think about
her being upset with me. I was quick to let her think that
the tension between us healed
that neither of us could remember
the reason we were fighting in the first place. I forgot

her coffee order when she's sad, I forgot
how she freaked out when she lost
the callback to someone we despised. I forgot how she remembers
that I counted how many chicken nuggets I ordered. She was all about
knowing the little things that kept me at ease, that healed
my stress away from her. But then I knew that,

with the poison I kept on the tip of my tongue, that
would be impossible. She tended to forget
even though she was the one to heal
me emotionally when no one else could, she would lose
me at the same time with disappointment. It was not her fault. About
four years now, I'm still alone in pictures. I remember

that we were always together in a single frame. I remember
I kept my mouth closed and she smiled with her teeth. That
passenger seat remained empty, beneath a full moon about
to transform into new. Once I forget
eclipses only last a few hours, I lose
the nostalgia that never did get me healed.

Replaying my memories will not heal
what I once had. I will not remember
everything I thought I'd never lose.
Once it hits, I am on the floor, pressing into the cold tiles, so close that
I can reimagine her skin, and I will never forget
all of the things I thought about.

I believe she can no longer heal me and that kills me.
I can't remember to forget her.
I constantly wonder about her, and the universe I lost.

maybe I don't belong in this world
maybe I was just an accident
maybe I wasn't meant to be created

maybe I loved other people just to hurt them
maybe I shouldn't love because I break hearts and dreams
maybe I should just hide in the corner and cry

maybe I should just disappear and never come back
maybe I should become invisible

no one would care, right?

Dear you,
I wrote you a letter last night in the middle of an anxiety attack. I didn't know it was addressed to you until about halfway through, but it only makes sense that it all comes back to you. I guess I wanted to write everything that was going on in my head onto paper, to stop thinking about everything and everyone, including you. I keep saying I'm happy for you that things are getting better for you and that you're happier now but I think everyone knows I'm just pretending that I'm not in ruins that you left me for dead. I hope you think about me sometimes, I hope you remember who I used to be.
Love, always,
Me.

When the world thins
And my senses become hollow
I can still define the lines of your fingertips
When colors dull
And light slowly bends
I can still find the soft hues of your warm auburn eyes
When my breath runs away
And I can't slow the beating in my chest
The sight of you is where I find my rest
Oh how the way you look at me stills my heart
And though my mind may still scream
And my aimless anxiety may steal reason from me
I can endure knowing the clarity you bring