I've been crying since the day
your tongue turned into
a stage of dancing lies

my hair pulled back
to hide the smell of
dead thoughts of us

of how leaves look prettier
when they're dead in autumn
of how I would be prettier
if  I were dead too

the way your fingers lit in passion
whenever we touched
the way your fingertips sparked the fire
of cigarettes smoked to the bone

I remember the smell of your hands
danger with a glimpse of loneliness

I liked it
I loved it

The day your tried to bottle up
all the love I had for you
and the glass didn't resist

the day I stole your gun
to make you say you loved me
the way you took it from me

the way I understood you'd never catch
the stockholm syndrome from me

I'm sorry
I'm so sorry.

You told me you could tell the sky, "Goodnight,"
and the earth would whisper, "Good morning."
Home always felt like your coffee breath stirring the hair in my face
and your hand gripping mine when I strayed too far.

You asked me what I thought of God and I said she was beautiful
and you placed a kiss on my cheek, pressed your scarred palms to mine, and told me,
"Yes she is."

When I told you I was scared you told me that demons are everywhere but angels are immune.
I felt better.

Winter was never cold with you around.

Poetry erupts from my tongue
A mountain of words
Too tall for me to climb
The air is filling my lungs
And I'm inhaling the beauty
Of symphonies and metaphors
Stirring memories together
Of a firm chest and rhythmic heartbeat
Strong, unruly, erratic
Like my feelings for you

It's a feeling that hits forcefully
A tsunami, flooding my chest
The butterflies are set free again
Wings flutter wildly, a frenzied panic
A harsh wind knocks me to the ground
Here, my glass heart finally shatters
A million shards that cut like knifes
Leaving wounds only you could heal
I am a cascade of emotions
I think I'm in love again.

Feeling useless,
ugly hues
colouring in,
yellowing bruise
happy days
thoughts are wistful
mirrors lie
bitter fistful
saddened eyes
in ghost camera shots
wanted: ‘beautiful’
connect the dots
minds a scramble
at mirrors perception
feeling lonely
life's deception.
undeserving
of affection
can’t comprehend
seek perfection
take a breath
smile and hide
the bottled fear
you keep inside
life is short
accept the flaws
love yourself
Retract the claws.