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the first time i got drunk i was 16 years old.
the burn of ***** in my throat reminded me of how it felt to say your name and every time i see your face i can feel the bottle against my lips.
the first time i got drunk my friends and i were camping on the beach.
i havent spoken to you in months and this is the most rebellious thing ive ever done and i was used to sharing every moment with you but this was the first significant one without you and it felt amazing, so i took 6 more shots and threw up the last words you ever spoke to me.
the first time i got drunk my friends asked me to share my biggest secret.
what was i supposed to say?
that i havent spoken to you in ten months but i can still picture the way your mouth moved when you said my name?
how the box of cranberitas smelt exactly like your breath that one fourth of july i would do anything to forget?
or how about the fact that i don't miss you any more and i don't know whether to be relieved or terrified?
instead i told them that i liked to watch ****.
now i'm seventeen and i haven't been drunk since but your name still burns my throat like *****.
sorry for the hiatus!! what are commas anyway amiright?
Why talk
When they don't listen?
Why be
When you don't feel?
Why yield
Unto submission?
Why earn
When you can steal?
Why fight
Against the darkness?
Why love
When love will die?
The past is dust and vanity.
The future is a lie.
What the eye does not see,
the heart does not grieve for
But when the truth comes out,
it will always hurt more
Blinded by love, I failed to see
how much of an ******* you were to me
Perhaps too young, too crazy, & free,
but I'll never understand why you did that to me
They say if you love somebody,
then you should set them free
As you never came back,
I think it was meant to be
I am not bitter or angry anymore,
in fact my life has been better
since you walked out the door
I thank you for the gift in which you gave to me
A very special treasure, it truly is a pleasure
I gave you a chance,
in fact I gave you so many
But you couldn't be bothered
to even spend a penny
The door was still open, but nobody came
I should have known it would still be the same
It is not my place to play God with life,
but if you don't make the effort,
you're not worth the strife
Perhaps one day you might make the call,
to make the wrongs right, & not start a fight
I hope by then it's not too late,
but I suppose I can't change fate
I would like to think we are at peace with each other
At one point in time, you were my finest lover
Some people just aren't meant to be together,
but that doesn't mean you are lonely forever
Somewhere there is someone who dreams of your smile
& finds in your presence that life is worthwhile
So when you are lonely, remember it's true,
somebody somewhere is thinking of you

*& that someone is not me
 Feb 2015 Kaitlyn A Warnken
Noor
Why am I bitter?
All the silence trapped in my brain
“I’m not in the mood”
Somehow, I always seem not to be
Why did you leave?
With the walls I painted teal for you
The I love you’s were never heard
And the joy, was never to be felt
Did it ever mean something to you?
Or was it just a dream, hallucinations
A vivid memory

Being held by you
Trapped in your arms
As warm as a blanket
Was all I ever longed for
Like a memories of me as a child
Of never belonging to a playground
Never scraping my knee
But always, my heart

The distance between us
It’s always haunting me
Chasing me down
Pinning my fingers to the map
To the line of oceans
Deserts
Continents
The walls I have painted for you
Are now, pebble grey
Without you
Every shade of grey is conquering
Everything around me turned to grey
Even the books, even the sky.
Home is
The scent
The taste
The feel
The sound
The sight
Of you.
Another little write on home.
For you,

If you let me,
I shall love you so entirely,
so completely
That you shall never need from me
Nothing that I cannot
Provide
There shall be nothing you cannot tell me
Whisper or confide,
Nothing that you feel,
Shall you ever have to hide
Because if you allow me
I shall kiss away each insecurity
From each chain
I shall break you free
Every darkness you encounter
I'll blaze in flames
So brightly
That there's never
A second, you cannot see
Every hurdle you come across
Across each, I shall willingly
Carry, you.
If you let me,
Everything that I do,
Every moment that I live
Myself, my heart, my soul,
My life,
To you I shall give.
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