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kaehaniya Aug 2020
run
run,
i need to run
i don't know what to do
except
run
i need to run
feeling stripped
of my dignity
of everything
that I love about me
of kindness
of gratitude
of hope
run
i need to run
i don't know what to do
except
run
i need to run
"feeling stripped of my dignity, of everything i love about me."
8/3/2020
kaehaniya Jul 2020
dreams floating above the clouds
colorful, high in the sky
gone forever,
like hot air balloons
prompt: hot air balloon
kaehaniya Jul 2020
the tiles are cold
***** and wet
but the blood is warm
crimson, flowing down her wrists
warm
no, i don't know either
kaehaniya Jul 2020
look
look at me
don't call me a king
i'm not a king
why be a king
when you can be
a god?
it ain't that hard
but it ain't easy
not even a little
it's closer to misery
closer to pain
closer to never
nothing is gained
except for the pain
the pain
"why be a king when you can be a god?"
- eminem // rap god
no i don't know what this is either
kaehaniya Jul 2020
you know i miss you
you know i need you
you know i want you
but you're not there
you know i love you
i always have
you were my life when
life wasn't fair

i didn't want to
want to love you
i didn't want to
want to care
but then you kissed me
then you loved me
you were my life when
life wasn't fair
"you were my life when life was far away from fair."
- billie eilish // no time to die
  Jul 2020 kaehaniya
Julianna
I kept saying:
no one loves me
no one thinks I'm beatiful

What I really meant:
I don't love me
I don't think I'm beatiful
  Jul 2020 kaehaniya
Willow Branche
“Robin Williams didn’t die from suicide. I only just heard the sad, sad news of Robin Williams’s death. My wife sent me a message to tell me he had died, and, when I asked her what he died from, she told me something that nobody in the news seems to be talking about.
When people die from cancer, their cause of death can be various horrible things – seizure, stroke, pneumonia – and when someone dies after battling cancer, and people ask “How did they die?”, you never hear anyone say “pulmonary embolism”, the answer is always “cancer”. A Pulmonary Embolism can be the final cause of death with some cancers, but when a friend of mine died from cancer, he died from cancer. That was it. And when I asked my wife what Robin Williams died from, she, very wisely, replied “Depression”.
The word “suicide” gives many people the impression that “it was his own decision,” or “he chose to die, whereas most people with cancer fight to live.” And, because Depression is still such a misunderstood condition, you can hardly blame people for not really understanding. Just a quick search on Twitter will show how many people have little sympathy for those who commit suicide…

But, just as a Pulmonary Embolism is a fatal symptom of cancer, suicide is a fatal symptom of Depression. Depression is an illness, not a choice of lifestyle. You can’t just “cheer up” with depression, just as you can’t choose not to have cancer. When someone commits suicide as a result of Depression, they die from Depression – an illness that kills millions each year. It is hard to know exactly how many people actually die from Depression each year because the figures and statistics only seem to show how many people die from “suicide” each year (and you don’t necessarily have to suffer Depression to commit suicide, it’s usually just implied). But considering that one person commits suicide every 14 minutes in the US alone, we clearly need to do more to battle this illness, and the stigmas that continue to surround it. Perhaps Depression might lose some its “it was his own fault” stigma, if we start focussing on the illness, rather than the symptom. Robin Williams didn’t die from suicide. He died from Depression*. It wasn’t his choice to suffer that.”
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