what if the person that gave birth to me
the one that was supposed to love and accept me
used to be the monster i was afraid of at night
the one that told me i was worthless all the time
what if the person that gifted me with my life
*is actually the person that made me want to die

spoiler alert: #implicitly mature, in some way...#


TAKE 1
a bench. a garden.
the guy: *yeah, ***, to **** my way through,
so, i'll be on my way.
the girl: (silence).
close-up: the guy, his back.
fade.

TAKE 2
a car. in the front seats.
no sun set.
the girl: yeah, but it is not worth it, so.
the guy: yeah.
panoramic: a street. cars passing by.

TAKE 3
total darkness.
a voice whispers a scream.
the guy: why can't i *******?!
the girl: (silence).
total darkness.
the guy again.

TAKE 4
a river. a wooden fence.
the girl. leaning.
close-up: her hands.
the girl: (silence).
her hands. a cat comes by.
the cat moves away.
panoramic: the river, the back of the girl.
high noon. no shadows.

It got quiet real fast last night.
Not like usual where the people outside the walls screech until 2am when they finally stumble back to their respective beds.
It must've been too cold for screeching and wandering last night.
Because it got real quiet. Right around 12.

And it was the kind of quiet that makes you both tense and relaxed.
Afraid to move or you'll disturb it, but calm in the middle of it all because silence is rare.
In fact there's no such thing.
Everything makes noise,
When you roll over, the wind, the lone car that drove past, and your breathing.
Especially the breathing.
It's noisy in it's own quiet way just a vital in and out that keeps you alive.

Lungs like attention, they like to be heard.
Even when they're not shouting angry profanities, or cheers, or whispering I love yous...they make their gentle in-out whoosh. Reminding you that you're alive and that's
a splendid and spectacular notion

And yes, i have always wanted to chase you and pull you into my arms to caress your soft neck with my silver friend and she would cut me open in front of you to show you how my heart has been turned to stone and i would take it out and smash it to your head that you would finally know how it's like to lose your mind, just like how i lost my heart

Take the word enough and graffiti it across the walls of your heart
Stamp it under your eyelids
Make a short sharp scratch in your skin
And send it shooting through
Your veins
Weave it in and out of every doubt
Scrawl it in a letter
And send it first class
To all of your insecurities
Embed it in the curves of your smile
Carry it gently in your tears
And catch its salty taste on your tongue

Take it out to the shore
And dip it in the ocean
Watch as, finally, it sticks to you,
Like wet sand.