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 May 2022 jude rigor
eileen
it feels like I've lost you
but you're right there
I can hear you talk

I miss you so so much
crying
I know you're gone

the heart I used to know
has burned up
the ashes running down my face

every time you leave
sending no message
I feel so abandoned

no goodbye
no hello

it's like you're lost
don't you feel the same

are we breaking
pulling apart
strings losing strength

wish I could tie you to my wrist
keep you in my hands

covered in loss
you don't ever say my name

you stand in front of me
I can feel you drift away
 Apr 2022 jude rigor
eileen
after
 Apr 2022 jude rigor
eileen
what's on your mind
I can't tell you what's on mine

disconnected
are we still best friends

I can be isolating
you're away in unknown places

trying to find new love
even if you cross my mind

tempted
and delusional

hoping we find our way back together
I can't find someone better

you're the worst of all
no one hurts me like you

you're so unloving
leave me wanting more

more and more till
I crumble apart

keep to myself
don't ever give up

crack my heart open
I have to leave you
you'll love me after I go
 Apr 2022 jude rigor
pôr do sol
Don't speak harshly,
Your words will form swords in me

Touch my cheek; speak gently,
And they will form worlds in me
 Apr 2022 jude rigor
neth jones
a sorry fist forward                                                          ­  
             and mortally i follow                          
coldly into the first dark flint of day                                            
              not my natural habitat                                                      
so quiet.. or near so
a vacancy for occasional clean                              
                             ­              isolated noises

 i pause         and pass a scan about
the hailing lack of conscious population                                 
                     ­                     all packed away
hauntings themselves in beds
- like some form of post apocalyptic storage -
they add a vague lended charge
 
nature is on a limited budget         this early                             
no birds yet                                   and no solar minting
a massive racoon      with only three legs      crosses my intended path
              in its mouth                    a gory wreckage                        

i steep to make balance
                         but my pores won't take it
                                                       i am sickened by the ballast
                                                         ­                                  of my breakfast

i hollow onward into these new conditions                            
still deriding what to be                                                    
     a tourist and an informer dud                                                     ­  
i have switched to the dayshift                                        
from off the spire                                  
of my regular hour                  
the evening routine

breathing is surprisingly ***** at this time
                                            a failing of settled pollution :                      
the public buildings and restaurants          
                                 are muggy in their overnight stale degassing
awaiting air currents and dispersal        

the first gulls of the morning                          
                                              emit a defeating siren
spearing through detritus                            
                            ­    they dispel the bells of purity
                                  
               somehow i've made my port of call
a struggling invertebrate
in this state i dispose my spirit                        
                                at­ the salted threshold
security staff and sanitation process                              
         between the sets of automatic doors

a workplace made alien          
   and adverse to me
purely by        
            the indecent hour
of day
neth jones Oct 2021
[gulls] summer
the morning gulls
morning gulls defeat me
an accuracy to the early hour
they spear
thorough amongst the detritus
dispelling the bells of cleanliness
in an urban morning
 Apr 2022 jude rigor
Akemi
10818
 Apr 2022 jude rigor
Akemi
hallucinations of wildflowers and flooding windpipes
yesterday
a fig
today
a bell jar
covid day 2
 Apr 2022 jude rigor
Akemi
10820
 Apr 2022 jude rigor
Akemi
regression into month old sediment
where day old dreams resemble recall into
the arche-fossil of fever
i read the record of a dream i had three days ago
and it felt like a memory from a lifetime ago
hey you
we haven't really talked
in a while
which is funny because
i've memorized every inch of your profile
the softness of your deep eyes
that you hate so much
that i sometimes hate too
lately i just feel so far away from you
pull and tug
tug and pull
why won't you just let me
make your heart full?

on and off as we are, you're the only one i'll ever want. stupid loyal for you bby.
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