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 Aug 2016 Joshua Haines
Elf Kill
*******, ya cooperate ****
*******, ya miserable hag
*******, ya think you're hot
*******, you're a total drag.

*******, ya lawyer ****
*******, ya Harvard punk
*******, smell my ****!
*******, you're a total drag.

*******, Mr. one percent
You've got the money, I can’t pay no rent
*******, I've got no beer
*******, get out of here!

We’re gonna drive the highest highway
We’re gonna walk in to the sea
We’re gonna fly into to death sideways
It’s gonna find the real me, the real me

*******, my job is insane
*******, I've got rot in my brains
*******, you think you're hot
*******, you're a total drag.
https://paralonsecurity.bandcamp.com/track/total-drag
 Aug 2016 Joshua Haines
Eloi
A vision of black,
Heads bowed,
Women weep as he's lowered into the ground.
His mother cried,
So did I,
People couldn't help but sigh.

The rain flowed beneath our feet,
Into the ground where he would retreat,
A place as hollow as hell,
Where he would never  fit in well.

I feel responsible for his death,
to his parents I apologise,
I wish to join him;
Every single day,
In the ground,
Where he lay.
you can swim.
but you wont get there.
you can try.
but you wont reach it.
my hands will turn,
and
stroke
and hit,
and
my legs- my legs
will pound like ribbons,
stretching out-
unending.

and then it will end,
no longer will I go.
and bone will turn to thread
and muscle to
heat.

and from the fatigue i will find it
reach it.

every bone a body, every muscle
a life
and everything....
everything water.
water stroking through water
combing
and
twining
to
one
water so intense
in
water so sleek-
so aware of every stroke
every turn
and every hit.

you can try.
but you can never stay
there.
 Jul 2016 Joshua Haines
Eloi
My house is filled with ghosts,
That only I can see,
I try to tell my mother,
But she laughs at me.

They haunt my every step,
Whispering past events,
telling me their stories,
Filling me with worries.

I lay in bed at night,
Full of anxiety and fright,
That one of them might try to hurt me.

I see jet black figures in my mirrors,
And deformed silhouettes in my windows,
I close my eyes and pray for them to go away.

I guess I'm just intruding,
Living where they once did,
They have followed me around since I was a kid.

My mother takes me to the doctor,
Who diagnoses  me with schizophrenia,
Says' it's all in my head,
That I can't see anyone who's dead.

Locked in an institution for days,
They still wouldn't go away,
They never left my side,
They haunt me still to this day.
This is a true story, that happened to me not so long ago.
don't feel sorry for me.
I am a competent,
satisfied human being.

be sorry for the others
who
fidget
complain

who
constantly
rearrange their
lives
like
furniture.

juggling mates
and
attitudes

their
confusion is
constant

and it will
touch
whoever they
deal with.

beware of them:
one of their
key words is
"love."

and beware those who
only take
instructions from their
God

for they have
failed completely to live their own
lives.

don't feel sorry for me
because I am alone

for even
at the most terrible
moments
humor
is my
companion.

I am a dog walking
backwards

I am a broken
banjo

I am a telephone wire
strung up in
Toledo, Ohio

I am a man
eating a meal
this night
in the month of
September.

put your sympathy
aside.
they say
water held up
Christ:
to come
through
you better be
nearly as
lucky.
 Jul 2016 Joshua Haines
Marles
they were different.
they were the sun and the moon, and the rest of the world stars.

both magnificent from a distance,
but very few were made to be close to them.

they were both bright in their own senses,
she possessing unparalleled grace and he being the essence of mystery.

they, of course, were attracted to each other.
like magnets though, if one was pushing and one was pulling they were unstoppable.
but if they both put out force simultaneously they sometimes repelled each other.

they never could quite figure it out, why love and hate seemed to sometimes run together;
why they longed to wake up next to each other every morning but never wanted to see the other again at the same time

why they felt so bright standing alone but so often eclipsed when next to the other.

they couldn't help that they were so passionate about their own worlds but so indifferent toward the others.

they couldn't quite grasp any of it.

they were different.

they were different because she longed to be light, and he always insisted on being darkness//
wax
"***** out that candle, it's too bright," he snaps, staring out the window like there's something lurking in the dark, waiting for the two of you. You lean over and blow out the tiny fire, the blaze disappearing almost instantly, nothing left but lingering smoke, rising higher until it fades into the air.

The hot wax drips down the side of the candle slowly. He stands at the window with his hands in his pockets and you sit on the couch with your legs folded. Clocks tick and you hear the air turn on. You feel the urge to touch the clocks face and push its hands back forcibly.

He finally turns around and stares at you, his eyes flashing in the dim room.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" He asks, exasperated of the unspoken words that weighed so heavily on the silent air.

You watch the drops of wax slightly quicken down the side of the candle. "I can keep burning this candle but the wax is still there."

"Yeah, so?" How typical of him, you think you should stop trying to touch his heart with metaphors but it's the only language you've ever known.

"I keep trying to burn away everything that happened when you were gone," you say with exhaustion as a thousand memories play in your head, "But they never really go away. Every time I set all of the memories on fire all I end up doing is burning my hands on lies and sorry excuses and broken promises, I just scorch my head and hot wax drips on my heart."

He stares at the dead candle. Maybe there's shame written across his face, maybe it's annoyance, nothing can be sure in the shadows.

"I can try and burn them away all I want, but they'll just turn to liquid wax and harden all over again." You say as the wax droplets begin to solidify on the candle.

"Then burn something else, that's a nasty smelling candle anyways." He smirks, always trying to lighten the mood.

You raise an eyebrow.

"Look, you can either spend all of your time burning these memories and reliving them, or maybe you could set yourself on fire for something new. You never know," he says, picking up the lighter and lighting the candle again, "maybe you'll find something so special that burning for it is worth all of the bad candles."

He tried his best to speak your language, it may not have been the best metaphor but his attempts were to be admired.

"What are you burning for?"

The candle flickers slightly and you think that maybe you're going to stop burning candles at 1 am when every bad memory comes into your room to haunt you.

Maybe you can be your own candle instead of living off of the yellow light of broken memories, they never really helped you see.

Candles burn and wax melts but nothing is as enduring as the human heart.
 Jul 2016 Joshua Haines
Leia R
so many words have begun to
fill my mind and writing them down
is the only thing i can seem to do
but i guess it's okay that they take up
so much space because i am
no longer thinking of you
                                               l.r.
my cat is so mindful of my mood and i think it is the sweetest thing
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