I let different boys touch me
Because I wanted to know
Even for a second
What it felt like to be loved
Even if the love was cheap
And it tasted like ***
Like the punchline to a joke
I never got because it was me

I let different boys have different parts of me
Parts they didn't deserve
But I offered up willingly because I couldn't give anything else
after you broke me
I was looking for different fingers
to place different pieces and hoping  the outcome
would be a masterpiece
Maybe one of them would find a way
to cover up the handprints you left all over me

I let different boys touch me because I had to prove to myself
you wouldn't be the only one
that these scars marking my body wouldn't define
my worth to be loved
I am not entirely sure  
you aren't the only one who could ever touch me without slightly  flinching

I let different boys touch me because that is all I have been taught
To be a joke
To be silent
To be ready to give until you have nothing left
- they keep leaving me and I am to scared to offer up anything more than my body to get them to stay

I love him
I tell myself
I know that
We will be together forever
I don’t believe that
We could be separated
My thoughts tell me that
He’s the love of my life
Sometimes my heart lies and says
I could live an eternity
Without him
Like my friends say
“We’re perfect for each other”
And you can’t tell me
He’s not the one.

Now read from bottom to top.

Sitting here stuck in my head
I’d rather be next to you saying I love you too
But here we are hours apart
Starting to feel you fade
This feeling in my heart like a jagged blade
Laying here blankly staring
Wishing my heart would start healing
Really getting tired of this broken feeling
Knowing your love could mend the pieces
Letting distance get the best of you
While you leave me here feeling so blue
Now you see the pain in my eyes
So, please don’t tell me pretty little lies
I know our love is true
Even though we go through our ups and downs
We’re still on our thrones wearing our crowns.

Never think you are not loved
You just think in your heart you are loved

To the phantom girl I admire,
Who’s heart is center to desire,
The love, the one, for whom I do rise,
I surely do love your what-colored eyes.

The way they sparkle in the setting sun,
Or longingly hold the moon as the one,
Too look up to, adhere to, adore,
I love them like always, maybe, for sure.

Just as I love you for all that you are,
A “what if” kind of joy, a gift to my heart,
For all your perfections and wants that I see,
I’ll always love you, forever, maybe.

Poetry is dead
when you are not here
to write it in my heart
when your voice is too far away
to read it.

Poetry is dead
when your allure is feeding
strangers' souls on the streets
while I am here alone,
my soul starving.

Poetry is dead in all my being
I feel its ghost leaving my brains
I feel the emptiness inside
and I fear the days
when it will come haunt me
and I won't find a way
to write it.

Sleeping at night it's impossible
cause I hear a question screaming in my chest

When poetry is dead
is there anything out there
left
*alive?