I wish you would get deported .
I curse the east European country that produced such a fine specimen of god like features
Coupled with a Zeus complex .
And all the series of unfortunate events that lead you too my small town eyes .
My guts haven't unraveled for days and I have forgotten what eating for enjoyment is as it all turns to ashes in my mouth .
Grief is a my white knuckled steering wheel , uncontrolled sobbing in traffic .
It is "our" dog barking at me to remember to breathe .
It is my mothers kisses on my hands because I cannot turn my head to meet her blue eyes cause they are the same color of yours .
For every cigarette I light I hope you light two
Because I'm drinking this poison but trying to **** you.

We don't even know eachother but your name echoes through my head

Like a solemn comforting whisper while i lay awake at four am in bed

I hope our paths cross eternally

I haven't been able to properly write
In two ******* years .

It's 1 am and I'm calling you .
Hating that ***** at the end of the line reciting " the person you have reached ..."
Is never available right now.
I feel so alone gripping the phone ,
I can't call you so late anymore .
Wanting to burn into you that
You are mine .
And everyone who touched you before is a ******* lie .
Across the street ,
The town .
The states .
I hate all of them right now .
And I know that this is
irrational
But it ***** that you were the first for me and I wasn't for you .
The abuser ,
The space filler ,
Now the Grecian pillar .
Hating classical way that
The years rubbed off the emotion from the chisel marks .
**** them
And you're like before my hands , and mouth and eyes .
My eyes ....
Always searching for yours .
In an empty room of the two of us still ******* searching for yours .

But maybe I am the first ,
And that's why I a prototype
Am still here . ™

No one reads my **** ,
I am so thankful for this website .
I'm accountable now .