She wakes me up deep in the night.

I understand you, she smiles
snuggling into me, her nose,
pressed cotton soft on my cheek

I have no strength, I cry
not one, for you

I love your weakness
love you for your weakness
her breath wafts into mine

and the boy stuck in his age
floats in the web
of the girl forever
forgiving.

I feel better in the dark.
I say things, then, that I wasn’t sure of
before I said it

In the light, I tell them lies
But when I slip away into her room at night,
I only speak the truth

We met by accident
She didn’t make me wish for
         innocence
She whispered to me that things were better in between
  And she let me
     She begged me

Fire beckons me, but I’m in love with another
          warmth.
She’s too slick, but I love the sound of
       her laughter,
                her abandon.
She’s ready to hurt, but I love her
        protection,
                 her affection.
She offers me the light,
         and I love her darkness, too.


I want all of her, if she’ll let me see
I’ll stay, anyway
Until she gets sick of me

Where are you
my one perfect muse
the shape of contours
conjured in dreams
held since bud was formed

Where do you rest
waiting
like me for that
eclipse
of moments

Where?!

Are you even
embraced in capsule
light
weightless
located in One

Or are you diverse
scattered like seed on
winds unknown
beyond my reach
as I wonder

Where?!

Is it pointless to conceive
of your fullness
knowing deep down
you exist only in
poetry of disenchanted idealists

Newly formed realists
whose life work
lies smashed
pointless journey
reaching reality

Or will I glimpse you
in passing crowd
ephemeral but
sharply cut out
from all the rest?

In the night watches
I avoid you

no point in
tearing flesh

for rivers to
burst through

rudely scorning
torn pages

of some old book
clutched to

dreams not yet smashed
on rocks of adulthood

avoided in the night watches
lest the dark becomes

intolerable