Our fixation with hand held machines
And replacing meals with soybeans
A spectator to arguments over vaccines
We're all underemployed and "getting-by" by other means
Living vicariously through our broken screens
Lobotomized and abused; nearly at-risk teens
Utterly lost in so many depression memes
Farmed and sent out from the Phillipines
Too desensitized to hear our own internal screams

Suspended between an inching glance and the constant fluttering of hands,
I shake coolness from my neck and cross my arms against my chest
The room grows small, as does the room in my chair, so that
The only room for solace is in the waking thought of sitting back and
Falling through
The floor
I have long since realized your goal, as you
Fold my comfort into a matchbox and
Slide it into your pocket
To light for later
From early years I’ve been taught to
Tuck my resistant words in the folds of rose petals and
Present them to all in unswerving gratitude, but perhaps
That is not enough to satisfy that
Ache in your crotch
Or your head or
Wherever you bridle
That pesky ego

--
c

I have to wonder
when do you think of me?
is it when you are free?
alone and let be?

I have to wonder
what is it that you see?
what keeps bringing you back to me?
what makes you stay throughout the color changes of a tree?

I have to wonder
are you afraid too?
of what we might lose?
That must be why I keep trying with you.

I have to wonder
if the ceased "I love you"s and "good night"s are results of that fight.
If it's me that's losing sight
or if it's you that's crashing this flight.

I have to wonder.

My wings spread and I let it get to my head
just like I let you into my bed

Oh what a risk I took to feel bliss
but now all I seem to do is miss

I miss the way you'd call my name from across the hall

And how when I bawled I'd think
"he'd break my fall"

But you didn't
and now all I'm left with is anticipation of a call