It was your choice
I wasn't your boss
I had no voice
It was your loss
I wished you'd stayed
I should have chased
I never betrayed
I never replaced
I wanted you back
I let you go
If you were to ask
I'd have to say no
I changed my mind
I would say yes
I tried to be kind
I should've guessed
It's not your fault
It's you I blame
In every thought
I play this game

Strung prose
Like puzzle pieces
Broken across the page
No longer
Im too linear now
For all that
Maybe
Before long
I'll write
Instruction manuals
And think
They're poetic

Birds perched by, quaking upon branch or limb
They heard not my aching, but sang out for Him
Unwitting avians cried, crooning flowering grief
Shaking land and sky, swaying bough and leaf

Sweet somber tune a cloud astride cold wind
Fleet wandered moon and bowed aside for Him
Breathless hush broken, lark tongue arose in
Reckless rush for halcyon star hung frozen

Revelation brightly opined, did thus impart to me
Creation's peace divine; That I, though apart from thee
Stood in presence of love, and by starry sight knew
Good luminescence held above, the same I hold for you

A dream of a hug
From someone you love
Just a dream, a moment
And all that bitter anger
Is washed away
Diluted to insignificance
And you wake with...what?
Peace? Hope? Love?
All the things you thought
You'd never see again
It wasn't real, it wasn't really her
But the peace, the hope, the love?
Those are real
Those remain

Life is loss, pain
You move on, push past it
You write subroutines to deal
To ease, to distract, to bypass
Again and again until
You are more subroutine
Than you are yourself
And you wonder
At what point did pain
Become more relevant
To life
Than living?

Intricate labyrinth of neurons
Within whose web I dally, caught
Tangled synapse-bridged *****
Continuously recalling tallied thought

Laser-etched steel-plate memories
Deny wisdom so dearly sought
Reinforcing episodic-twisted realities
Revealing epiphany where is naught

Neuronal circuits staccato-fire rapidly
Tetanizing notions trauma-wrought
Spike-timing-dependent plasticity
Potentiating emotions distraught

Swearing healing by hippocampal oath
Promising surcease to wet-work hard-fought
Neurogenesis rebuilds hope for both
Amygdalan peace and neural-networked bio-robot

Its not a good day
if I havent ripped
a thumbnail on
some jagged metal
or stubbed a toe
Its not a good day
if I havent cut myself
on a kitchen knife
or had my heart broken
Its just the
empty space
between
injuries