I looked at my hands the other day.
Really looked.
I saw the flesh, and the sinew, and the odd curves as the tendons snake their way back into their home

I saw my right ring finger;
Remembered there was a scar
And I looked,
For a while.
And I saw it

Faded but there,
Clear and standing.
Brazen roughness against the smooth porcelain.

I remember an event,
I'm not quite sure.
A fall.
A scrape.
A tumble.
Some sort of momentary tragedy.

I don't remember how it happened now.
And I found comfort in that thought.

I don't want quick fixes or easy outs,
I want struggle and decision

The end of the line, the start of a new direction

I want to love so deeply that we change trajectory to aim for the same crash

I want the chaos of space

I want to feel the weight of the world and the weightlessness of the universe

I want us to traverse the himalayas and drown in the mariana trench

Just to be reborn as a new us
A new perspective
A new life

A flower dropping petals to the compost to grow again, with all the memory of what could go wrong and how to blossom correctly this time

I want to be so enthralled in the blanket of you that I suffocate under its weight

But I am not suffocating
I am screaming, in silence

We are lonely trees in distant fields
All I can hope
Is that our roots reach out endlessly
Until they touch again
And we can grow together once more

All I want is to watch us blossom

The warm autumn breeze
         scatters the leaves
     like spring  snowflakes
      I carefully hand stack
        them each by color,
              one by one,
           as if they were
          befallen dreams
                     or
      similarly unholdable
               gathered
      garnered memories
                      •
        each leaf touched
             reminds me
       of how many times
          I've had to let go ―
         how many times  
                I've fallen
     without a place to land
   until the winds of change
         drew me back up
               as if I were
   evanescent autumn leaves,
      to be swept away again,
         touched by the spirit
             the true nature
                  of  love
                      • •        
        sown seeds of one love
           bestrewn hopefully,
             thusly cast about
              just as intended,  
   the grain and chaff together,
     sifted by the velvet breath
        of the samsara wind's
              sanguine touch

                     •  •  •
            

  autumn waters ... October 29, 2017

A loss of orbit,
Her gravitational forfeit;
She no longer greets the moon

The galaxies have strayed,
From her intravenous decay;
A mind no longer in this celestial room

She cries tears of river floods,
And cascading molten blood;
That ravage at her innermost core

Now wildstorms of polluted rain,
Course destruction within sorrowed veins;

                                          
                                          Without
              ­                                    Her Sun,
                                                        My ******

Cannot Endure.

Wanting to go but scared to fly,
closed eyes forever, one final sigh,
An escaped tear, a rattled breath,
A battle well fought, winner is death.

Blame the heavens and their greedy skies
Loved ones remember the fractured lies.
Legends cut down, myths created
Existence understanding but never abated.

Moss covers the forever bed,
offers and pleas, take me instead.
The final destination is one we all crave,
Dying is easy, you just lay in your grave.